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1.21.2010

Ferberizing

I've been doing a little more research on the "crying it out" method of sleep training. We've contemplated starting it, but are going back and forth since she's been sick lately. We are to the end of our rope with her bad sleeping the past week. It's a tough decision.

Here's an article I found today that has been informative on some of the rumors surrounding "ferberizing":

http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified_7755.bc

Here are some thoughts:

* Aly slept through the night (10-12 hours straight) from 7 weeks until 6 months. She put herself back to sleep when she woke up.
* When she's healthy (which has been few and far between since she's turned 6 months old), she sleeps through the night often and also puts herself back to sleep.
* When she wakes up recently, she sits up, screams, and when I pick her up, her heart is beating a million miles a minute. Could it be separation anxiety coupled with hunger and stomach hurting?
* People say people don't let their kid cry it out because the parents are weak or selfish and "can't handle it", but that it is "best for the child". But then again, is it okay for a parent to let her kid cry it out because she can't take it anymore? Seems like a double standard.
* People say you should let your child cry it out around 6 months because they can do it by then. But, what other milestone does anyone give a definite age on? Are all children ready to cry it out by 6 or even 10 months? Do we expect all kids to be crawling by 6 or 7 months? Or talking by 13 months? Or walking by 12 months? Of course not. We know that babies are different and have different personalities/temperaments.

Now, this is not to say we're not going to try it. We will try some kind of abbreviated version of it if she doesnt go back to sleeping through the night once she's over her sickness. But, I think that many assumptions are made about this method, and that many parents don't do the research for other options. So, my advice to all: Do your research! Read more than one book. Read multiple websites and read different research-- all sides of the discussion! :)

6 comments:

Mrs. Haid said...

I think there are a lot of assumptions made, too.

I found http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/ to be really helpful. She does CIO for naps but not for nights.

I agree there are a lot of misconceptions of Ferberizing, mostly though its doing it to too young a baby, right? Or like you said, that the parents are either too cruel or too sensetive.

That being said, my baby is actualy crying right now in his crib at the end of his nap, so I'm going!

ash said...

I feel very strange commenting on a lot of your posts since I'm not a parent but hopefully you don't mind.

Two things I thought in the article.

1. He says children need to be physically and emotionally able to go thru the process. The article doesn't really develop that but I think those are two really important things.

2. He also emphasizes a warm bedtime routine. I think this is a very key component too. I see giving the baby a bath and putting on pjs, maybe having a bottle all before going into the crib.

I for sure think it this is done right its not just throwing your kid in the crib, letting them cry. My parents used this with myself and my sisters. I think as long as the baby is healthy physically, letting them cry is not hurting them or being mean to them.

Also I like the idea of gradually building the time. Maybe the first night you only let them cry 5 minutes and increase the time as you get comfortable.

Who knows though, maybe my opinions will change if I ever actually have kids, lol.

Tiffany said...

Thanks for the comments and links, my friends!

We ended up letting Aly cry for 10 minutes at a time the first night when she woke up, and it lasted for 2 hours until she put herself to sleep (2a-4a). The next night she put herself to sleep when she woke up. I like the gradual time increase. I think it really helps the child to know that you're still there, but that they have to learn to go to sleep. Gentle, yet firm :).

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