Living in the In-Between

Last night, Ashley and I watched a Catalyst talk from this past year. And it was really what I needed, even though I didn't even know I was needing something like that.

The speaker was Steven Furtick, pastor of Elevation Church in N.C. He spoke about living in the process of seeing God's promises come to fruition.

Several years ago- maybe 5 or 6- I went through a series of interactions with people that spoke to my heart about God's promise of "making me a great missionary." At the time, I was for sure that these people were messengers from the Lord. Which seems weird, because I'm normally a pretty reality-based person (the supernatural world is sometimes hard for me to really get). Anyway, those in my community confirmed that they thought it was from the Lord as well.

Fast forward to this past year-- I wondered if going to Africa was going to be some kind of fulfillment of this promise, or prophecy, if you will. We didn't really know what was going to happen while we were there- would we stay longer than 2 years? Who knew? ...

And then we came back after 6/7 months. Wow, didn't see that coming. While we were deciding whether or not to come back to the states, I went through some intense feelings of shame, guilt, failure... was I backing out on what God had been promising me those past years? Jake and I both felt like this was the way God was leading us, and felt more and more this way as we moved closer to the homecoming.

So... here I am. In Columbia, MO. As a stay-at-home mom. Not really what I think of as successful in moving towards "being a great missionary." But, what does that even mean? Does it mean being faithful to wherever I am? Does it mean being a missionary in america? Somewhere else? It seems like such a funny, oddly-worded phrase. And the funny thing is, jake and i have almost discounted the traditional calling of "missionary" for our lives.

But, I was encouraged to love the process of the time in between the promise and the fulfillment. And to be faithful to the opportunities and experiences that God gives in the in-between.