Learning to Love

New Location

2010-06-28T09:46:00.001-07:00

Hey Readers!

I've moved over to my own website: www.tiffanymalloy.com Please change your feeds and subscribe at my new location! :)

Thanks for reading!
Tiffany

Laughing with Sarah review

2010-06-08T06:01:00.001-07:00

One of the most recent books I received from The Ooze Viral Bloggers is an independently published book called Laughing with Sarah, written by Gene Jennings. The cover looks pretty contemporary and it seemed like a good idea to write a book about stories from the Bible, applying them devotionally to one's life. I thought maybe I could use it as a devotional...you know, a little food for thought everyday along with reading the Scripture from which it is drawn.

Sadly, it just wasn't for me. Each chapter was a sermon that he had delivered. And while I'm SURE the sermons were great, they didn't translate to book form well. I felt ... preached at. The author seems like a great guy and all, but this just wasn't my cup of tea. However, if anyone wants this book, let me know and I'll get it to you!

The Things Asante Says... :)

2010-06-01T14:48:00.000-07:00

Asante: do you want to call anyone, mommy? (handing me my phone)
Me: Um... I don't think so.
Asante: oh.
Me: Well, who would I call?
Asante: Uncle Brycey and Adriene
Me: Oh, well, what should I tell them?
Asante: I would like to tell them a bible story.
Me: Which one?
Asante: the fiery furnace one. it's a bad one though.
Me: Why would you want to tell them a bad one?
Asante: I think they'd like it.

a few minutes later...

Me (to Jake): I feel like tweeting that I feel like I'm on Little House on the Prairie since we're all sitting around the table eating an afternoon snack of fresh blackberries and blueberries.
Asante (overhearing this): Can you write down mulberries too? Can you write it right now?

Fun Kid Stories

2010-06-01T07:49:00.000-07:00

Aly has been really growing in her ability to communicate with us (and hence has become a much more pleasant little lady to be around). This morning, she brought me some fruit mix that she enjoys and put it on my lap. Obviously she wanted some, so I opened it up, took out some pieces, and then over time, ate the rest of it. She toddled back after a few minutes, look at the bag, looked at me with a shocked look on her face and said, "uh oh, uh oh!" and held up the bag. Haha, it was way cute. I can't believe how fast she's growing up!

A bonus fun story about Asante:

The other day when I was yard saling, I found a cute stuffed giraffe and stuffed gorilla that I got for the kids- mainly Aly because she LOVES stuffed animals right now. Asante enjoys the gorilla though, so he brought it to the doctors office with us this morning. He was talking to it as we waited, and Jake suggested that maybe he should tell a little story to the gorilla while Aly held it. Asante said, "okay, once upon a time..." and continued to tell the gorilla the story of the three little pigs, complete with different voices and sound effects. It was priceless!

Two New Books!

2010-05-31T05:56:00.000-07:00

A couple days ago, I received these two books in the mail from The Ooze Viral Bloggers:

Book reviews will be coming in a few weeks! And there will also be an opportunity for one reader to receive their own copy of one of these books as well!

Community as a Way to Wholeness

2010-05-30T14:58:00.001-07:00

While not a life changing book, Eve's Revenge ended on a very encouraging and inspiring note. Over the last 10 years or so, the Lord has lovingly guided me through a lot of what the author, Lillian Calles Barger, walked us through. By facing my eating disorder, I had to deal with a lot of issues of body, spirituality, beauty, cultural and societal expectations, etc. And, as I've come through on the other side of this, I have found a lot of healing and have worked through many of these issues that Barger brings up. I thank God for her ability to communicate well and her commitment to The Way.

HOWEVER, the last chapter took me kind of by surprise, and in a really good way. I hadn't really thought about how community is intimately related to spirituality and the body. But, you know, it has been the times when I have felt like a valued member of a community that I have been able to best be myself and be okay with who I am. I think the healing of my eating disorder and the victory over my obsession with clothes and outward appearances has really been aided by a strong community. It's been the times when I haven't felt a part of an authentic community when I begin to struggle with some of issues of identity.

Barger gives some great suggestions on how to move more towards this wholeness as a person and living in true community through the help of the Holy Spirit. One that Jake and I have been really longing for lately has been the idea of settling into a community. We've moved countless times, and each time we move it gets harder and harder. We are re-examining our dreams and aspirations in light of the value of building deep friendships that are lasting. We are dreaming up ways to live a life that values people and where we have families that are as close to us as our biological family members.

Barger also raises the value of physical touch for her- hugs, etc. really bring people together. In college, my community of friends were eager to give hugs, wrestle, tickle one another, etc. in really fun, brother/sister like ways. I think this is a key aspect to deep relationships that many in our society overlook.

You'll just have to read it. Even if you don't read the whole book, I think the last chapter will be a great way to move forward in Barger's ideas of bringing together the whole person by living lives of sacred community.

Do Men Feel the Identity Struggle Too?

2010-05-30T05:39:00.000-07:00

For the past week or so, I've been discussing some issues related to the identity of a woman in current American society. Are we really oppressed? Do we have choices? What are those choices when it comes to wanting children and/or working? What are some discussions that couples-to-be need to be having in order to insure fulfillment of both partners?

Today I want to bring men into the picture. Do they deal with these issues of identity too?

Last night Jake and I were discussing this very thing. He was sharing with me his idea that maybe a portion of woman's struggle with her identity is a generational issue. Some women have a hard time making a choice that is different from what her mother, or aunt, or grandmother would think is proper for a woman. Being the first woman to work outside of the home in one's family could be a hard choice. Even if that's what a woman wants, it can feel like she's "oppressed" because she's making a choice that is different than what she saw as "womanly" or "motherly" growing up. It's a crisis of identity that takes significant time, soul-searching and prayer to work through.

Jake said there can be a similar male issue as well. Many men of the older generations have a lot of skills. Many are tradesmen or craftsmen- they know how to weld, they have electrical training, they can build things, they're really handy. When men growing up in that environment decide to do something different- maybe they pursue more academic subjects or decide to be a stay-at-home dad- then they feel a sort of crisis of identity as well. They feel like because they've chosen a different route in life, they don't feel like they have as much to offer. When their dryer breaks, they don't know how to fix it. Instead, they have to call someone else to come fix it. If they want to build a new cabinet space, they have to hire someone else to do it because they just don't know how or don't have the skills to make something that looks nice. They are not "providing for their families" because they stay at home with the kids while the wife is working. It's hard because they're not fulfilling what was considered "manly" growing up.

Things change over time. Roles, responsibilities, expectations. Maybe we as a society need to allow more room for people who want to do things differently or choose paths that look a little odd to the status quo. And as we're beginning to raise the next generation, we may want to constantly be thinking about our expectations for them and how we can allow them freedom in their choices- allowing them to explore who they are and what they like instead of putting (amoral) boundaries around them relating to our likes and dislikes and wants and desires. Of course, much easier said than done. :)

Women's Choices

2010-05-29T14:52:00.001-07:00

I hear a lot about how women don't have the opportunity to have both a career and a family.

But, I would say that women DO have choices in this area, and it is going to be up to them to decide what they want, and then be big girls and deal with the consequences.

Here's what I mean.

Choice #1: Be a stay-at-home mom. Some women LOVE making a home for their family and raising their kids FULL-TIME. They love creating environments for learning and comfort and refuge. They love to create dishes that are fun, nutritious, and pleasing to the eye! They love to homeschool their kids, or they love to send their kids to school and do stuff in the community that requires a volunteer position. Or, maybe they don't really love these things, but they see the value in it and see that it is the best for their family if they don't spend money on daycare or if the kids have a parent there teaching them instead of sending the kids to daycare.

Choice #2: Be a career-focused mom. Some women don't want kids. They'd rather pursue other worthy and important aspects of the social realm. They want to work themselves up the corporate chain, whether for money and security, or for self-satisfaction, or to prove themselves to others, or for some some worthy cause that advances the Kingdom of God. Maybe these women work 40 hours a week, maybe 60, maybe 80. Many of these women are going to be the breadwinner of the family, or an equal contributer. Some of their husbands are going to be stay-at-home dads.

Choice #3: Be an involved mother and a career woman. This woman tries to balance being there for her family, raising kids...and being successful in a career. This choice is hard. Some of these women don't have supportive husbands who will give up their career for her desire to have a career. Some of these women need to work, along with their husbands, to put food on the table and a roof over the family's head. Others really are torn between the deep desire for motherhood and for a career. Many of these women have probably not had serious conversations with their husbands BEFORE getting married and BEFORE having kids about what they want. Many of these women feel the desire to work, but the desire to have kids, and feel like their work is being sabotaged because they won't/can't put in the long hours required to keep promotions and "keep up with all those men who are getting raises". Many women feel resentful about this...many because they want the best of both worlds.

Here's what I've been mulling around in my head...many women have choices about their role in the home. The problem is, this conversation is not had before getting married, and many women are married to men who are not supporting them. But, these women have choose to marry these men. It's so sad that there are some jerks out there who think that women have to be in the home no matter what the woman wants. But, maybe we just choose not to marry them?

Again, I have had the privilege of having a great husband who is supportive. He understands my desire and need to work outside the home. But we both understand the need and desire for our kids to have us at home with them for the first couple years of their lives. Jake is very ambitious too, and has desires to pursue a doctorate degree so he can research and further the field of education. And we have chosen the hard road ... both of us are moving MUCH slower through the career-path...both of us make sacrifices to not work or work part-time in order to meet the needs of the kids or each other. We understand that we're not going to be top achievers in our fields at ripe young ages. We get that us going in and out of the workforce is going to limit our opportunities for advancement. I feel blessed that Jake has entered into this ebb and flow of sacrifice and career-seeking in order to help us both feel fulfilled and our kids blessed.

OF COURSE, not everyone wants our lifestyle (lol, and sometimes we don't either), nor should everyone adopt this. But, maybe if families would be more willing to re-imagine what fulfillment and sacrifice would look like for BOTH spouses and for the kids, then women would feel like they have less choices.

By choosing one thing, we're sacrificing another. That's the choice we're making. So, let us choose wisely, communicate well with one another, and understand the consequences of the choices we're making.

CAVEAT: I KNOW this is an "idealic" post, and not everyone is in a place where they can choose. I do get this. However, I think this post could apply to many women in their circumstances.

What do you think? How has your family decided to work out this balance? What are some things that I'm not taking into consideration?

Pondering the Idea of the Oppression of Women in the U.S.

2010-05-29T14:36:00.000-07:00

...and I have a hard time really understanding it. Maybe some would blame it on my inability to see outside of my oppressed state. Or maybe it is because not every women or every community sees women as "lesser" than men?

I grew up in a home with a working mom and dad. My dad works out of a local, so he gets called for a job, does it and then sometimes has a week or two or five off before the next job comes along. Because of this, I spent half my year in day care and the other half at home with my dad. Although my mom did a lot of the housework (which she passed on to me when I was old enough), my dad was always busy doing stuff around the house. They did what they were good at, and they did the jobs they wanted to do. My mom and dad both cooked, and both did dishes. My mom controlled the money; my dad controlled the permission. I saw them as different, but neither one as the "ruler of the house." They worked as a team to raise my siblings and I.

Outside of my home, I spent the rest of my time in school and school activities. I was an excellent student and received many awards in math and science in high school. My school had 5 valedictorians, 3 which were female and 2 male. Our gifted classes growing up were made up of girls and boys. Never once did I feel like the boys were given opportunities that I wasn't. I really did feel like I could do whatever I wanted with my life, career wise. I got several scholarships for college, and even got admittance into Mizzou's Law School as a freshmen in college (basically they reserved a spot for me upon graduation). Up until this point in my life, I have made choices and have reaped the consequence for those choices.

...but apparently not every girl/woman has had that opportunity? I'm really sorry about that, and feel bad, but I can't help but think that maybe every woman has not had the disadvantage that many scholars and authors like to highlight. Sure, I had issues with my body and my image growing up. But, so did many of my guy friends. Everyone felt awkward in junior high school and maybe even into high school. Guys didn't starve themselves, but they spent way too much time in the weight room. I think sometimes we forget that guys and girls may have the same issues that manifest themselves in different ways.

Some women have grown up in dysfunctional households where women were seen as the slaves as men. But I wonder how much the norm that is? I honestly don't know either way. I'm just curious. And thankful that I haven't had to deal with this issue very intimately. Most of my pressure in my life has come from other girls who were jerks and put me down because of my looks or whatever. Hardly ever have I felt disdain or condescending attitudes from men. I KNOW IT HAPPENS. Again, I'm just wondering if we highlight the times it DOES happen because we want to prove a point.

So, I'd be interested to know if any other women out there have had the same experience as me? If so, tell us about it! And if you haven't had the same experience, tell us too!

Next Post: Women's Choices

I Am Hutterite Review

2010-05-25T07:27:00.000-07:00

I am Hutterite is a fantastic book about a young woman who has to transition from being a member of a tight Hutterite community to a part of wider society. It's a fast read- I was able to finish it in a day and a half, even with being at home with the kiddos! Not only was this book an interesting look at what goes on in close-knit Amish-like communities (although, to be clear, Hutterites are not Amish), but it also helped me better understand the perspective of an outsider. Hopefully this book will not only provide interesting information for the curious, but also will create compassion in those who have never had the experience of adjusting and fitting into a new culture.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Eve's Revenge, Chapters 1-3

2010-05-24T14:22:00.001-07:00

After reading JR.'s book review of Eve's Revenge, I decided to take a look at it myself to see what I thought. Being a woman, I am obviously interested in what others have to say about women, the body, and spirituality. I'm a woman who is not easily stereotyped-- I grew up liking dresses and getting perms, but loved to play "cops and robbers" and climb trees outside with my neighborhood friends. I loved reading ultra-girly books- The Baby-sitter Club (well, this set wasn't so girly), Sweet Valley Twins, Sweet Valley High and Sweet Valley University. I was incredibly boy crazy from a ridiculously early age and also began my first quest for the ideal body at a ripe age of 10. Dieting and a fairly severe eating disorder plagued my entire high school and early college years. I have had my bouts with make-up wearing and hours in front of the mirror hair-doing, and hundreds of dollars of clothes buying each new "season". I now wear make-up once a week, rarely spend more than 20 minutes in front of a mirror, and am so out of fashion that it would have made my former self cringe. I love having kids and feel it's important for me to procreate, but I also have a hard time being a full-time stay-at-home mom for any length of time. So, I feel like I can easily understand women from different variations on several spectrums because I've been there or am there now.

All this said, I have been enjoying Eve's Revenge because I feel like I'm whole-heartedly agreeing with her in one part, while in the next paragraph, rolling my eyes at her. I think the book represents a dialogue that has been going on in me for awhile.

I'm not going to touch on everything she talks about (go pick up the book to find out!) BUT, I'd like to highlight a few ideas:

* Men are not to entirely blame for our bad self-image. Women are very very critical of one another, and of ourselves. Have you called Hilary Clinton frumpy? What standard are you holding her up to? Do you comment on how other women look overweight, too thick of eyebrows, too big (or little) of breasts, etc.? Do you tell yourself that? Do we really need to be jerks to one another? We're a little over half the population -- if we really hated the cultural image of beautiful that is "put upon us", I think we wouldn't have to accept it.

* We have to embrace a spirituality that connects our soul with our bodies, but does not reduce us to only a body.

* Our body informs who we are. Many people these days like to say that our physical parts have nothing to do with "who we are". But, they do. We can let our bodies inform us of who we are and embrace this instead of fighting it (Chapter 3 is a must read in this - she makes a good case).

The End Revealled

2010-05-17T13:47:00.000-07:00

Jake and I's anniversary scavenger hunt ended wonderfully!

I went to the library with Jake on Thursday after picking him up from work at 1:45. He said he would just go to the kids' section and wait for me there while I went to find the book. So, I went upstairs and found the book in the section with the other code books. Except this was not a code book- it was an old psychology book of ours! "What's this doing here? This must be it." I took the book and headed downstairs to further examine it. While I was waiting for the elevator, I hear someone next to me clearing their throat- not once, but twice. I looked over and saw Ms. Ashley Williams standing next to me with our video camera! :) Ah, she's the one that planted the book.

We went downstairs, where we found some plastic cups with sparkling grape juice, ready to celebrate :). (We also found Asante standing in the middle of the floor, starting to pee in his pants, but that's another story, lol). Jake ran off with Asante to the bathroom, and I opened the book. On the inside cover, it said, "Throughout history human beings have used various means to communicate. I've chosen a sample to communicate my love to you." Well, I thought, isn't that sweet? I was slightly disappointed because I thought that was it.

Jake got back to the table and asked what was in the book. I read it to him and smiled while thinking to myself, "Why is Ashley running that video camera still? I don't really this is video-worthy." OF COURSE IT WASN'T ALL!

Jake encouraged me to flip through the book, and that's when I realized a big chunk of pages were stuck together. On another page, inside the book, a message said: "If the journey is as much the gift as the destination then my love is proved." When ripping through that page, one would find a hollowed out portion of the book that contained $599 of ones and fives! I also found two more data matrices, which I decoded on the spot with Ash's iphone, and it revealed that this money was to purchase an ipad! What a fantastic surprise!!

I have decided to wait a little while, in hopes of a second generation ipad announcement coming this summer. Rumor has it that it will be much better and perhaps slightly cheaper. I reserve the right at anytime to give in and buy a first generation, but I will hopefully at least make it to a summer announcement of future plans.

Solved

2010-05-11T13:39:00.000-07:00

Well, I figured it out- we're meeting at the library!

the numbers were the library's phone number: 1-800-324-4806.

AND, the last number (652.63241) must be... a book I must find.

I'll let you know how it goes on Thursday!

FINAL CLUE- 2 days left!

2010-05-11T09:09:00.000-07:00

My last clue is a worksheet of 6 math problems, half of which have to do with prime numbers. I have several of the answers figured out already, but a few don't make sense.

The solutions for numbers 1-3 are each the sum of four consecutive prime numbers.
1. The first three numbers are less than 200, but not the fourth.
193 + 197 + 199 + 211= 800

2. The sum of third number minus the first number and the fourth number minus the second is 20. All four primes are two digit numbers.
73 + 79 + 83 + 89 = 324

3. The sum of the first two numbers is one more than the fourth.
7 + 11 + 13 + 17= 48

4. e to the i(pi) power plus one
= 0

5. Neither abundant nor deficit, this number is the first of its kind.
= 6

6. 27.27 x (phi) x (e) x (pi) x square root of 3
= 652.63241

This is somehow supposed to tell me where I'm to meet jake thursday at 2:00p. EEk!

Binary Code Clue Finally Solved

2010-05-11T08:45:00.000-07:00

I finally solved the second to last clue and I wanted to share the results with you.

So, by taking out all of the numbers after i translated the binary code, I got this message:
three/is/a/magic/number/yes/it/is/its/a/magic/number/somewhere/in/the/anc...homonyms/and/smynorca/flash/youll/see/again.qed

Then, going back to the original message, after taking out the letters, i was left with a lot of numbers. I counted every third number and underlined it. I figured out that those numbers were page numbers in 2 books from which some clues back around spring break referred to:
the little prince and understanding media

Each third number is obviously followed by two smaller numbers. I remembered that on my 25th birthday, Jake had made me a treasure hunt around Columbia and we had one clue that looked KINDA like this. In that clue, we had to turn to the page number, and then use the second number as how many lines to count down on the page. The third number was the letter. We put all these letters together and got a message. This time that didn't work exactly. Instead, the third number represented the word instead of the letter. The message was:

"who are we when we are not well carrying on with a vision for new adventures and child like faith
how can you stand perfect around listen to that read hearing nothing"

Huh? What does that mean? Well, going back up to the original message, I see the second part of the clue has the words "homonyms" and "smynorca" which is acronyms backwards. So, I found some words in this second clue that were honomyms:

to-two-too
read- red
hearing- herring (okay, so i didn't get this one, jake gave me a hint).

I wikied "red herring" and .... it's doesn't exist! Red Herring is an idiom that is used when "the purpose of which is to divert the audience from the truth or an item of significance."

At this point I cried. Was this whole code adventure without an ending? Was it just a fun "adventure/journey" where the ending was unwritten? Jake assured me it wasn't, but it WAS true that this code didn't actually give any extra information. He pointed out that every third word in the second clue spelled out: "we are carrying a new child."

BLAH! I mean, a fun time solving it, but it leaves me with no new information.

10 weeks

2010-05-05T10:33:00.001-07:00

On Monday I had my 9/10 week pregnancy check-up. I really enjoy my doctor and I hadn't seen her since I gave birth to Aly, so it was fun to catch up and to re-hash past pregnancy/birthing experiences.

When the time came to listen for the heartbeat, she reminded me that she may not be able to hear the heartbeat this time because it's still pretty early. Most of the time, you can't guarantee to hear a heart beat (externally) until week 12.

Sure enough, she found baby malloy's heartbeat fairly quickly (nice and strong), and as soon as she found it, she kinda pressed the instrument deeper into my stomach. When she did that, my whole uterus jumped! She laughed, and said in a surprised voice, "Tiffany, your uterus moved!" I said, "I know! I felt it." She thinks the baby didn't enjoy being smushed.

Looks like we have another fiesty little one on the way! =)

Working on Plan B? I may have just the book for you...

2010-05-03T17:32:00.000-07:00

Plan B got me wondering- will I need this book in the near future, Lord? :) Oh, I kid, but not really...

The author, Pete Wilson, does a really great job of dealing with this really hard topic of what to do when life isn't turning out how you always imagined it. He's funny and serious; not hokey or plastic. His stories come out of his real life, with real people that he interacts with and lives in community with. It's refreshing when an author doesn't have to reach to stories of well-known, famous people because they haven't actually dealt with the issue in real life. I've found his answers to this question to be real, helpful, and ultimately leading to the feet of the Lord. I think that this book would be a great gift to someone who is disappointed with where they are or are dealing with a rough time. I think this would be friendly to both mature Christians and cultural Christians. Let me know if you'd like to borrow it!

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Next Code- we're getting to the end

2010-05-01T19:38:00.001-07:00

Here's my next clue. Well, the binary that you see at the bottom of this post was the clue I received via twitter- over 30 messages! I plugged it into a binary code translator and got the gibberish below.

2 800k5 m3n710n3d: 282t30h9r32e2e4i104s3a2m143a19g4i104c3n2u32m2b4e73r2y8e72s4i7t95i19s5i32t45s5a232m37a3g235i2c2n273u27m5b40e24r9s222o4m7e183w333h112e1r8e31i34n2t23h1e4a21n19c1...37h5o7m23o7n3y22m5s2a107n5d11s83m1y3n78o17r5c78a17f6l109a10s7h14y5o7u15l15l1s-1e2e1a103g2a7i8n5.8qed

I did notice one thing- the letters between the numbers seem to spell out a message. But, not a great one. Here's what it says:

kmnnd: three/is/a/magic/number/yes/it/is/its/a/magic/number/somewhere/in/the/anc/homonyms/lands/my/norca/flash/youll/see/again/.qed

001100100010000000111000001100000011000001101011001101010010000001101101001100110110111000110111001100010011000001101110001100110110010000111010001000000011001000111000001100100111010000110011001100000110100000111001011100100011001100110010011001010011001001100101001101000110100100110001001100000011010001110011001100110110000100110010011011010011000100110100
001100110110000100110001001110010110011100110100011010010011000100110000001101000110001100110011011011100011001001110101001100110011001001101101001100100110001000110100011001010011011100110011011100100011001001111001001110000110010100110111001100100111001100110100011010010011011101110100001110010011010101101001001100010011100101110011001101010110100100110011
001100100111010000110100001101010111001100110101011000010011001000110011001100100110110100110011001101110110000100110011011001110011001000110011001101010110100100110010011000110011001001101110001100100011011100110011011101010011001000110111011011010011010101100010001101000011000001100101001100100011010001110010001110010111001100110010001100100011001001101111
001101000110110100110111011001010011000100111000001100110111011100110011001100110011001101101000001100010011000100110010011001010011000101110010001110000110010100110011001100010110100100110011001101000110111000110010011101000011001000110011011010000011000101100101001101000110000100110010001100010110111000110001001110010110001100110001001011100010111000101110

00110011001101110110100000110101011011110011011101101101001100100011001101101111001101110110111000110011011110010011001000110010011011010011010101110011001100100110000100110001001100000011011101101110001101010110010000110001001100010111001100111000001100110110110100110001011110010011001101101110001101110011100001101111001100010011011101110010001101010110001100110111001110000110000100110001001101110110011000110110011011000011000100110000001110010110000100110001001100000111001100110111011010000011000100110100011110010011010101101111001101110111010100110001001101010110110000110001001101010110110000110001011100110010110100110001011001010011001001100101001100010110000100110001001100000011001101100111001100100110000100110111011010010011100001101110001101010010111000111000011100010110010101100100

Finally solved the Stone Tablet Clue

2010-04-22T19:06:00.001-07:00

Well, I finally figured out the stone tablet message after much hard work:

It said, in ancient cretian symbols (but in swahili transliteration):
Money Book

Then, in Babylonian numerals (which had a base of 60 so I had to figure out how to translate that number to a base of 10):

599

Then, back to ancient cretian symbols:
Ninakupenda, which means "I Love You"

SO, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to bring 599 dollars with me?! Or maybe it's $5.99 (hehe). I think I'll just bring my checkbook :).

Virtual Brainstorming Session, Anyone?

2010-04-14T07:56:00.000-07:00

Blogging Friends, I need your help once again!

For one of my classes, I'm to write a 10-12 page paper on ANY leadership issue. I really want to spend my time researching and writing something that will me and others in the area of collegiate ministry.

Here is the assignment description:
In the light of principles addressed in the course plus further research, do a 10 to 12 page paper developing a leadership issue (for example-- conflict or change) that will make a difference for the glory of our Lord in a present or potential context. This is not merely a paper on a leadership topic, but it is to include specific application and implementation aspects in a real situation. Briefly, describe the selected issue which must relate to a particular church or organization, a ministry/ organization and the prevailing leadership paradigm/s operative currently in about a half a page. Then research and suggest applications to address the chosen issue. Specify how you or leadership should lead through the proposed changes (both personally and corporately). Then delineate the steps that should be taken in managing conflicts that could arise. Address such issues as assumptions you are making, communication factors, leadership development, evaluation, renewal, etc. Project a timeline for implementation if appropriate.

Let the brainstorm begin! :)

Stone with symbols

2010-04-12T12:11:00.000-07:00

Another fun clue!

Last night I went to find the storage box of summer clothes to find some shorts, and I found this in the box:

Anyone recognize these symbols? I google imaged several languages and hieroglypics-type languages; I also looked through some of the symbol fonts on microsoft word, but I have yet to find a match. Any ideas?!

EDIT: Here is another clue I received related to the stone tablet:
That tablet is mixed up like the tower of babel, hanging gardens, labyrinth, and in that language I dabble.

My Sweet Aly Turned One!

2010-04-08T21:03:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that this year has gone by SO fast. I have vivid memories of the days when she was so teeny and slept ALL THE TIME. Boy are those days gone! :)

Aly has been such an awesome addition to our family. Who would have known that I had the capacity to fall completely in love with another person?!

Some memories I have of her over this first year...
- her bruised little face after flying out of the birthing canal (she was in a hurry to get out and meet her brother!)
- at 3 weeks, she had to be admitted to the hospital after having some breathing troubles. I think this was one of my first "motherly intuition" moments. and of course, she pulled her IV out of her head, even at 3 weeks old. I think they were quite surprised that she had that much coordination so early!
- aly LOVED (and still loves) the outdoors. She was slightly colicky, but would stop crying immediately when we took her outside. Sometimes just opening the door would make her stop crying. I can only remember one time that it hasn't worked. Daddy and Aly did quite a few late night walks around the Ashland Manor parking lot.
- i was incredibly thankful that aly began sleeping through the night so early. At 7 weeks, she was sleeping 10 hours in a row at night! She did this until 6 months. Haha, I guess she's making up for lost time or something now.
- Aly LOVES her momma. She lights up when she sees me and wants me to hold her, hug her, and give her kisses every time I come back into a room. This obviously makes me feel a special bond with her, but can be hard when trying to leave her with someone else :).
- I think Asante and Aly are best friends. Asante was the first person Aly smiled at and the first one she laughed at. She looks up to him so much and he's taught her a lot about the world.
- Her first word was "tickle" (at about 8 months), which is what she would say as she would start crawling towards us to attack us with tickles. I guess that says something about how often we tickle each other!
- Bath times are glorious for her. Typically she enjoys them a ton and could stay in them until she turned pruney.
- She's very artsy. She loves to dance, sing, draw, and listen to music.
- Her words at age one include: mama, dada, baby, girl, Aly, ball, tickle, dog, hi and bye. She repeats some other animal/truck sounds and words, but hasn't used them independently yet.

I love this girl! I'm so thankful for my little Alethea Amani Malloy.

Weak Butt

2010-04-08T09:08:00.000-07:00

Asante: "Daddy, I know a new word."
Jake: "Oh yeah? What is it?"
Asante: "Weak butt"
Jake: "What?!"
Asante: "Weak butt"
Jake: "Weak butt? Where did you learn that?"
Asante: "The song- We are weak, but he is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me...."
Jake" "ohhhhhhh."

Haha. Later on that night when Asante brought it up again, Jake tried to explain to him that it was a different kind of butt. Asante said, "a poop butt?" Lol, Oh dear. Homophones are tricky.

The Clues Continue

2010-04-07T20:48:00.000-07:00

My anniversary mystery is continuing to unravel. Over spring break, I found a few more data matrices in places like the back window of our car, in my Bible, and in my backpack. When decoded, they said:
- we trust, we have faith, as the core of relation, hoping through that to bring fear to cremation (our family value of faith)
- Some say books should be devoured for their treasure inside. I hope you are able to find what one tries to hide. (I have yet to figure this one out)

Oh! And I also got a strange piece of mail before we left. The data matrix on the front was not from the post office, but from Jake. It said: no mindless consuming that we're not reducing; using resources for creative producing (our family value of creativity).

I also found a very interesting clue at the beginning of our spring break roadtrip in the compartment between the seats. It was a good 'ol number 2 pencil with a strip of bubble wrap wound up around it.

On the pencil were three sentences:
- We shape our tools and afterwards our tools shape us.
- The medium is the message
- But the eyes are blind one must look with the heart

After a couple days, Jess and I figured out that the bubble wrap around the pencil was actually a code in braille! So, we looked up the alphabet online, and felt our way through the bubble wrap, writing the letters as we went along. Because I started popping the bubble wrap when I first found the clue (who can resist popping bubble wrap is what I want to know?!), we were unable to make out a couple of the correct letters. BUT, because we are smart ladies, we figured it out. From that clue, I know that on May 13, 2010 at 2:00p something is going down that I should be ready for!

A Week of Free Treasure!

2010-04-07T20:47:00.001-07:00

As many of you know, I LOVE getting free things! It's like a little treasure hunt for me! :)

This week was a particularly strong week. In the mail and email, I received:

a coupon for a one scoop sundae at Culvers
a $5 gift card to Wal*Mart
a coupon for a free large back of sunchips
coupons for 2 glazed donuts from QT
coupon for an ice cream cone from Andys

Last week was fairly good too...in the mail I got a pouch of laundry detergent, a travel-size deodorant, an individual-size box of Kaashi cranberry cereal, and 3 vitamin C packets that you mix in with a drink.

Crazy, huh?!

New Toothpaste

2010-04-06T19:29:00.001-07:00

For the past several years, I have had a lot of trouble with canker sores. I would get these pesky things once or twice a month, causing a lot of pain and discomfort when eating. When watching Dr. Oz a few months ago, one of the questions at the end was about what causes canker sores- he replied that there are some different things, but one cause that is often overlooked is being allergic to the chemical that makes the toothpaste foam. After hearing about this, I thought- well, I'll just try out an all-natural toothpaste and see if that helps. What do I have to lose, right?

A week or so later, in my google reader, heyitsfree.com highlighted a freebie at Burt's Bees website for a free sample of toothpaste. Fantastic! I received it only a week or two later AND I have been canker sore free ever since! So, my friends, if you have this trouble too, I would recommend getting the free sample today.

N.T. Wright's- After You Believe

2010-03-23T13:18:00.001-07:00

I got the privilege of reviewing N.T. Wright's newest book: After You Believe. In this book, Wright explores the questions- what are we hear for? how does character develop? how does the new testament teach us about who we are and the role of virtue? This book is an easy read (unlike some of his other books) and is immediately applicable to our everyday lives. This is a book about kingdom living- not living by rules and regulations- but the Spirit of God, allowing him to get inside of us and BE the humans that we were originally created to be.

This would be a great book to walk through with a new believer or maybe a college student who is really struggling to figure out how to live life in the new kingdom. Wright leaves the reader with a feeling of freedom, mission, and hope. He uses illustrations that many will be able to identify with -- because these are the same questions that we ask in our hearts and in our communities.

This is one to put on your wishlist- check it out at http://www.amazon.com/After-You-Believe-Christian-Character/dp/0061730556

*Disclosure of Material Connection: I received the product mentioned above for free by The Ooze Viral Bloggers in the hope that I would mention it on my blog. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Around the Kitchen Table

2010-03-23T11:13:00.000-07:00

The other weekend we went to my parent's house for about 24 hours to see my dad and brother. We all have birthdays around one another- Nick's is the 3rd, my dad's is the 6th, and mine is the 9th (of March).

Below is a picture of one of my favorite things to do with my dad- talk! I enjoy sitting at the table, beverages in front of us, and talking about anything under the sun- God, politics, world news, TV, our daily lives, etc.

Maybe this is why it's important to me for Jake and I and the kids to have a big, comfortable, inviting kitchen table someday (soon!)!

Clues 2-7

2010-03-23T11:08:00.000-07:00

I've been finding mini data matrices hidden around the house- in the egg carton, on a bottle, in Asante's Bible, etc. After decoding them, here's what they've said:

Congratulations for picking up clues that were subtle, your dit and dah catch no room for rebuttal (dit and dah is morse code lingo).

The exam was the easiest piece of the puzzle to solve, Daniel and Melvil called to applaud your resolve (no idea what exam refers to, but I think Daniel may allude to the Daniel Boone Library and Melvil to the founder of the Dewey Decimal System).

Back in the states and Aly's addition, you starting school with unbridled ambition (referring to our 4th year of marriage).

Not one upping, no need to compete; suffering with, till all with love are replete (our family value of compassion).

Generous we give expecting abundant provision, scarcity mentality we view with derision (our family value of generosity).

First year at Fulton, coaching kids how to run, end of the year our first born, a son (referring to our 3rd year or marriage)

Clue 1

2010-03-19T19:30:00.000-07:00

This is what I found tonight sitting exactly where I left clue 0. I think Jake was hoping that I wouldn't notice the switcharoo until later. But, because I got a keen eye, I spotted it within minutes. Decoding it this time was much easier, since I knew how to do it. It said:

"Praise God for the time I have had since I do, I love living our life and sharing it with you."

I also searched our computer for any file named "Clue __" and I found an mp4 that was named Clue 5. Aha! I thought- I found one! Well, I played it, and it was just a pretend clue- he just wanted to see if I would search the computer, apparently.

Puzzle #2

2010-03-19T11:51:00.001-07:00

Fellow Bloggers,

The next round of puzzles are here. This afternoon, I found this awaiting me on our family desktop. Any ideas about how to start decoding this one?!

Oh, and another piece of helpful information is that the file is named "drhu data".

Book Review of Everyone Communicates, Few Connect

2010-03-19T09:26:00.001-07:00

John Maxwell is a man who has written A LOT of books. This book is coming out soon- Everyone Communicates, Few Connect. Have you ever wondered why some people are really effective in their communication and some people just aren't? Maxwell shares some of the wisdom that he has learned over the years in helping us communicate more effectively.

The book is divided into 2 parts: principles of connecting and practices of connecting. I think that for new communicators, this book has a lot to teach. I felt like most of the things I read I had learned in college or in my early years of ministry, BUT, my experience could be atypical. If you feel like you aren't that great of a communicator- whether that be in the home, in relationships, in the workplace or on a stage- then you may want to check this book out.

My only criticism of this book is that it seemed egocentric at times. I know that that is not how Maxwell wanted to come off, but the content did a lot of praising of himself and his accomplishments, with only a little showing of his weaknesses. However, maybe it is just because he is a good communicator? Read it and let me know what you think!

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Abortion and Universal Health Care

2010-03-18T08:27:00.000-07:00

It's annoying to me when people talk negatively about the idea of universal health care in the United States. People complain that their health care quality will go down. The people complaining most likely have health care, which under the new bill, I'm pretty sure they would be able to keep! Why are they complaining? Do you not understand that some people don't have the luxury of health care? Many jobs don't automatically give it to you, and it's incredibly expensive to buy it independently if you have a $10/hour job (which is significantly above minimum wage). The idea of universal health care gives many people hope that they won't have to decide between food on the table or taking their child to the doctor when s/he is sick. Many of those complaining about this are privileged people who have NO idea what life is like for people who are not at the same standard of living as they are.

Christians want to complain about it, but these same people won't do a thing to provide health care and assistance for the people who can't afford it. Maybe churches will help out once or twice, but after that they close their wallets. What if people are unable to get out of the financial situation that they are in and need help for a couple years, or maybe all of their lives? Is the church continually willing to give? Or do they stop after a few times because people aren't "pulling themselves up by their boot straps"?

This helps me to better understand the abortion debate as well. Christians protest against it, but are totally unwilling to take teenage mothers under their wings- providing the money and stability that they need to have and raise a baby.

Many Christians give once or twice. But they rarely will make significant investments in people's lives...why is that? What can we do to change that?

The disease of busyness

2010-03-12T20:58:00.000-08:00

In my classes, we've been talking about different areas of leadership. Somehow the conversations seem to always get back to a few topics for my classmates:

1. Life is busy. I can't keep up. I don't have time to slow down. I have no time to commune deeply and meaningfully with friends on a weekly basis. I don't have time to fully invest in the life of my child(ren).

2. I lack a daily conversation with God. I don't have time to be filled up. I often feel like I have nothing to give others. My personal time with God can easily become non-existent.

How in the world does this happen? And why do we keep telling each other "it's okay; life is just busy, it'll get better"?!

It won't get better unless something changes.

We seem to run around doing all of these "great things" in order to prove to ourselves and others that we're worthy. We feel better about ourselves when we're doing so many great things.

Busyness is not okay when it leaves us spiritually empty.
Busyness is not okay when it leaves us habitually prayerless.
Busyness is not okay when it leaves us separated from our closest community.
Busyness is not okay when it leaves us neglecting our spouses or children.
Busyness is not okay when it leaves us burnt-out.
Busyness is not okay when it leaves us no room to serve others on a regular (daily?!) basis.
Busyness is not okay when it leaves us viewing people in need of a listening ear or a lending hand or a prayer as interruptions in our busy schedule.
Busyness is not okay when it leaves us unwilling/unable to Sabbath.

Do you have anything to add to this list? Unless we're willing to change the pace of our lives and who/what we're living for, busyness is going to continue to eat us alive.

Leading in a Church vs. Leading in a Business

2010-03-10T08:57:00.000-08:00

"The New Testament church has two dimensions to its existence . . . it is both organization and organism. Because of that dual nature, the church faces two kinds of problems--organizational and spiritual. Too frequently, church leaders attempt to give spiritual answers to organizational problems and organizational answers to spiritual problems" (Team Leadership, p. 156).

Exactly. It's often very tricky to determine/discern when the problem is spiritual in nature and when it is organizational in nature.

Cryptic Message

2010-03-09T18:57:00.000-08:00

This morning, I found this in my laptop.

Shortly after, I checked my email and had this video awaiting for me.

After a little help, I found this in my laptop case.

What is it, you ask? A decoder- a way to help me "read between the lines" as it said on the video in dark grey words during the last 5 seconds or so of the video.

This helped me to see that the message was written in morse code. So, I hopped on google, found a morse code key, and figured out what it said:

Sooo, either I'm a recruit to help someone else break a code OR I'm going to need to recruit some help to break future codes.

This is where you come in. I need you all to help me decipher the clues/codes from here on out from this mystery writer. I have a sneaking suspicion that it's my hubby, but I'm not sure exactly what purpose this is for. We DO have an anniversary coming up in May...but that seems a bit of a stretch, time-wise. He said, rumor has it, these clues will be arriving every 2 weeks. So, blogging friends, will you help?

Purpose of the Sermon

2010-03-02T19:30:00.000-08:00

On page 159 in Rob Bell's Jesus Wants to Save Christians:

"The measure of a sermon is not whether it affirms what you already believe. A sermon is not a product to be consumed and then evaluated according to how good it was or whether it was pleasing or enjoyable...the gathering of the church, in a service or worship or teaching setting, is to remind, instruct, and inspire people about being Eucharist for the worlds they find themselves in."

What are your thoughts? What do you expect to hear when you hear a sermon? When you are disappointed, what are the reasons why? When you are encouraged, what are the reasons why?

Ninos update

2010-03-01T20:07:00.001-08:00

Time for an update on my darling children! It's been awhile, and I'm sure you distant family will appreciate it. Friends who see my kids on a daily basis, you know all of this already, so you can go to the next item in your google reader. :)

Aly

Aly-doodle is doing great in the ways that she is moving and shaking and eating like a feign. She has been doing awesome eating whatever we eat, despite that she has had zero teeth up until Friday! She has been eating hamburger meat, cheese, spaghetti, beans, broccoli- anything that is "big people food." Up until last week, we could count on her to sleep through the night- I think she made it a whole week and a half or two weeks of going down at 7/8 and not waking until the morning! Yippee! In addition to all of this, she has been cruising along quite nicely and has recently discovered that she can go from crawling to standing up without holding on to anything. This was a skill that Asante didn't have until after he started walking. I hope this means walking is just around the corner!

On the other hand, Ms. Aly is a ball of crankiness. She has been crying a lot and often over the past week or so. She's been fighting a fever/cold/cough in addition (or maybe because of) this stinkin' tooth. This has interrupted her sleeping (both naps and night time) so needless to say, we're tiiiiiiired. :)

Asante

This little guy has been really into singing and dancing lately. He's been learning tons of songs and nursery rhymes and dancing around to them. We even had a little dance party in the living room this afternoon which was awesome (thank you, Slugs, Bugs and Lullabys!). He loves playing little games we make up and he's started driving (eek!) on daddy's lap. He is just getting over a few weeks of horrible stuttering. He's still struggling a little, but not anywhere near what it was. His favorite things to talk about? "What does ______ (porch, wife, etc.) mean?" "tell me a story about pigs", "Guess what?" (after which he proceeds to do something really strange), and "Aly, you are fiesty!"

As we approach Aly's one year mark, I reflect on what people told me when I first had Aly. "Tiff, this year will be hard. But after Aly is one, it gets a lot more fun and a lot easier." They were totally spot on. These kids bring me so much joy, even on the bad days. :)

Compassion

2010-03-01T06:23:00.000-08:00

Henri Nouwen on compassion:

"It is important for us to acknowledge this resistance [to suffering] and to recognize that suffering is not something we desire or to which we are attracted. On the contrary, it is something we want to avoid at all cost. Therefore, compassion is not among our most natural responses. We are pain-avoiders and we consider anyone who feels attracted to suffering abnormal, or at least very unusual."

Luke 6:36: "Be compassionate just as your Father is compassionate."

We avoid the suffering of others because it's hard. It's messy. We don't understand it, or at least we don't want to understand it. Because it's painful. It may require something of us afterwards. Plus, people take time. And we just don't have time for one another in our busy lives.

Nouwen talks about how compassion is the opposite of competition. Competition esteems us, strokes our ego, and it's when we strive to be better than others. Jesus tells us that we're to consider others better than ourselves, to serve one another, and to love one another. We have freedom-- freedom from the gross animal of greed and the unquenchable desire for more power. We can enter fully and unconditionally into the sufferings of others.

Good word, Mr. Nouwen.

Isaac Newton Review

2010-02-26T19:41:00.000-08:00

Booksneeze Book Review!

Mr Stokes gives a great look at the iconic Isaac Newton. The perspective is obvious as part of the Christian Encounters series, yet the person of Newton is enjoyably expressed. This text does not dive deeply into the technical aspects of Newton’s work, but does deeply gaze into the heart of Newton, his desires and motivations.

I appreciated the historical development presentation, exposing the effort and occasional wrong turns present in even the great intellect of Newton. Any young Christian with a head toward mathematical pursuits would enjoy this perspective on a great contributor to the sciences. Others interested in this time period will find this volume accessible in ways more technical accounts would not be.

guest review by Mr. Jake Malloy

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

A picture worth a lot of thoughts...

2010-02-24T18:53:00.000-08:00

As I was looking at the picture of myself in the margin of this blog, I realized that it represents so many things.

...jake and I's dream of loving people and serving God in East Africa. Lord, may you guide our path back there someday.

...jake and I's hope of someday being able to sit out under the stars on the African plain. The night before this picture was taken, we camped out in a tent with some good friends in the shadow of Mt. Kilimanjaro. We got to sit around the campfire, talk, and enjoy the African night sky.

...jake and I's obedience in going ... but the humility that came with God calling us back. Represents a confusion as to why we were asked to go for such a short period of time. Lots of guesses, but no real answers.

...a part of my heart that is missing. we didn't do anything very "great" while in kenya. we just got to know some great people and learned a lot of life lessons. Even so, part of my heart is there, and I often let my mind wonder back to the NEGST community, wondering how things are and praying for all of our friends there.

Creating Margins

2010-02-23T08:52:00.000-08:00

Highlighted by a professor of one of my classes:

A number of years ago, Dr. Richard Swenson, a medical doctor, wrote a book about the necessity of margins in life. A more recent book builds on his previous work. God is the creator of each of us, and part of our humanity is that we have limits.

“Life in modern-day America is essentially devoid of time and space. Not the Star Trek kind. The sanity kind. . . . People are breaking the speed limit of life.

Everything had become a burden . . . We were not involved in anything that was bad—nothing unsuccessful, nothing selfish, nothing evil. We were meeting needs everywhere we turned . . Yet life was obviously out of control. . . If we had such a perfect life, why did we live so far from Utopia? . . .

Carefully, and even forcefully, Linda and I carved out margin in four areas: emotional energy, physical energy, time, and finances. As we did, ninety percent of our pain disappeared. Life came alive again. My passion for medicine returned in full force.

We remain busy, to be sure. But we are no longer chronically overloaded. We still serve, teach, and help with a full investment of passion and enthusiasm. But always within the context of limits.” [Swenson, R.A. (1998). The Overload Syndrome: Learning to Live Within Your Limits. Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, pp. 11, 12, 14]

Dance Face

2010-02-22T15:25:00.001-08:00

Enjoy Asante's Dance Face.

I don't eat mud.

2010-02-22T15:22:00.000-08:00

The other night we made tacos, and after I made Asante's plate and put it in front of him, he looked at the plate, looked at me with much concern, pointed to the refried beans and said, "Mommy...I don't want to eat mud."

Ahhhh. Beautiful.

Holiness as a Foundation for Loving Others

2010-02-22T14:03:00.000-08:00

In college, particularly early on, I spent a lot of time reading and memorizing Scripture, praying, reading christian non-fiction, and discussing theology with friends. It seemed like most of my evenings were full of times of fellowship and corporate worship. I enjoyed this time a lot. I felt like I was discovering a lot of things about God that shaped who I am today.

Late in college, or maybe in the first couple years after college, the pendulum swung. The reading and memorizing and praying and fellowshipping let up a little, and I began to instead focus more of my energies on serving others. Serving the students at the BSU, doing stuff out on campus, tutoring students, working in the community of Columbia on their vision for the future, serving my husband and my new little baby Asante.

This past year I've been feeling a disconnect from God, but I wasn't sure why. I think that over these past couple weeks, God has used one of my classes and this season of Lent to show me what has gone on. In each season, I was neglecting something very important.

Many times people are on the "path of holiness" (as John Wesley would say) in order to have "Jesus and me piety" as my professor would say. Others serve others and do kingdom work, but out of their own efforts (hence, burn-out comes again and again). I have thought in the past that because I was experiencing burn-out, it meant that I need to say "no" to one more thing, or "take a break from serving." But, as I reflect, I see that every time this happened, it was because I was serving not out of a union with Christ, but out of my own striving and efforts.

In this lenten season, may we see the reason and result of our striving, and Lord, may you call the church back to you...that we serve you and love people out of overflow of the Holy Spirit who is working in us and through us and changing us.

It's the difference between serving and loving others because I love God and serving and loving others because I'm unified with Christ and His Spirit is overflowing from me.

Update on Classes- some things I'm learning

2010-02-17T14:02:00.000-08:00

For my church history class, I've spent the last 2 days devouring the stories of the early church. I am so fascinated and am learning so much about where the church has come from, some of the great leaders (and their weaknesses), and the issues that they had to deal with. It makes me realize that we're not all that different today in some ways. I must admit that I find some alarming parallels between the church when Constantine was Emperor and the present day church (of course, many great differences as well). Some of the theologians and preachers who spoke out against the injustices of the day were brave and unstoppable. That kind of drive, courage, and energy is admirable. May it be an encouragement to those today who are doing the same. Throughout all of this reading, I must admit that the monastic life is in some ways intriguing and seemingly beneficial, if only for a short period of time. Too bad most have abandoned that idea today. A little solitude, uninterrupted time of prayer and scripture reading and memorizing may do many of us well.

In Foundations of Leadership, we're discussing the classical vs. scientific views of leadership (i.e. are leaders born or made?)... as it relates to Christianity, my reply is - all Christians are leaders, so let's just get to leadership development! For those who are leery of that last statement, think about it- Jesus tells us we're to go and make disciples-- leading people to Christ, and then discipling them afterwards. I'm a firm believer in the 2 Timothy 2:2 principle- we're all to be mentoring someone younger than us (and hopefully being mentored by someone older than us!). Everyone leads someone.

Theology of Servant Leadership is a great class so far that is challenging us to be very introspective and reflective thus far. The passage of Mary and Martha is a little overused in my book, but he created an experience that made the newness pop out once again (thank you, prof.).

Finally, New Testament is just really taking off, not a lot to say about that yet. My prof is from Haiti but lives in Jamaica with his Russian wife. Uh- how cool is that?! I'm excited to learn about interpreting the New Testament, especially with his insights on living and marrying cross-culturally.

Observing Lent

2010-02-17T07:28:00.000-08:00

This year, I'm really excited about observing the season of Lent. I have high expectations for it- my desire is to take this time to reflect, repent, and cultivate a deeper intimacy with God. There's something really unifying about this season as well...knowing that there are thousands, maybe millions, of Christians all over the world seeking God in a similar way that creates this sense of anticipation of what can and will happen in my life personally and in the life of the church globally.

While reading for my church history class, I came upon the background of the observance of Lent. Apparently in the 3rd-ish century, Easter was celebrated as a time to baptize new converts and to renew the vows of baptism for those who were already Christians. So, in the days leading up to Lent, the church would have a time of fasting and penance in order to prepare for this joyous and celebratory occasion.

How many times do we take time out of our busy schedules to just slow down, reflect, talk to, and seek the Lord intentionally on a daily basis? I used to do it a lot more than I do know (before kids), so I'm excited about this time that I'm intentionally setting aside in order to re-cultivate a sense of closeness with the Father, as well as reflect on the state of my inner self.

Where is there unnoticed sin in my life?
What often stands between me and the peace of God?
Why dynamics are at play in my intentions and desires for the now?
What values am I espousing as I live my life?
Are those values what God values, or are they different?
How have I been participating in social injustice? How has the church at large?
How can I life more fully with those around me, being the minister of grace and reconciliation that I am called to be?

There are just some of the questions I want to be reflecting on as I proceed through these days leading up to Easter. I'm reading through Henri Nouwen's Show Me the Way Lenten devotional as a guide. My prayer is that this would be a deeply transformational time for myself, my family, and the greater Church.

the voice of psalms

2010-02-15T17:39:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago, I reviewed The Voice New Testament for Thomas Nelson Publishers. In that review, I explained the idea behind the Voice Project...you can find that here. I won't take time to explain it again, but I will add a caveat.

This is a response to those who have misunderstood or maybe even have failed to try to understand the heart and process of the writing of this translation of Scripture. When reading this translation, one must remember that the writers put in italics those words that they have added to make it a more sensory experience. Some have argued that a person who has never picked up a Bible may not take time to read the introduction and misunderstand those words to be a part of Scripture. I would first say that 1.) they'll probably read the introduction, because that's how normal people read books, 2.) the words that are added do not add additional meaning to the text in the way that it adds a new idea...instead, it adds a better understanding of what is being communicated to the reader, and 3.) we know that the specific words of Scripture do not hold the power...Scripture is not God, and that would be idolatrous to call it such. Instead, the Holy Spirit teaches us and communicates truths of God with us. We can trust God to work in peoples' lives. My encouragement for those who have failed to try to understand what the Voice is all about … read the introduction, and the entire work- compare it, pray about it, talk about it, and then come to a conclusion.

That being said, my reading of the voice of psalms led me to a time of deep worship and communication with God. The Holy Spirit used it to teach me truths and He led me to a time of soul-searching and conviction of sin. After approximately every other psalm there is a short devotion that is written to lead one to a reflection on the words of the psalm and a reflection on one's own life. I don't think they are meant to teach anyone any new piece of information, but instead, I think it's supposed to lead one to a deeper knowledge of God- a knowledge that connects the mind with the heart and the feet (living out the truth). It's not until we live out those things that we know in our head that we have true knowledge.

For those of you who conclude that you're uncomfortable with accepting this translation as one that you would use on a regular basis, I would encourage you to get a copy to use for times of devotion. It's a good treat to have on your shelf.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Need a good book of Bible maps and charts?

2010-02-05T12:46:00.001-08:00

Time for another Booksneeze review!

This one is of Nelson's Complete Book of Bible Maps and Charts (third edition). It's a collection of all the maps and charts that are in Nelson Bibles. Now, before you write this book off as boring or type-Aish, I think you should finish reading the review! Not only is this a collection of helpful charts and maps, but it is an overview of each book of the Bible- the possible author(s), dates, themes, literary structures, outlines, and pictures too!

When reviewing this book, I perused the entire thing, but focused specifically on Isaiah because I spent a semester studying a chunk of it in my Old Testament class last semester. For those interested in a book like this, you should know that this book may tend to land on the conservative side of debatable issues, BUT that it gives the other side credit too.

I loved the attitude of the introduction of this book. They say that this is NOT just a book to sit on a shelf as a "reference" tool. Instead, they want you to freely copy and pass along information and charts to friends in a study group or your students in the classroom. To help in this, they also make all the charts and maps free for download at www.thomasnelson.com/MapsandCharts.

This book would be a very helpful tool for those teaching introduction courses in the Bible, or for anyone who likes to see visual representations in order to better understand stories and concepts. I, for one, am a very visual learner, and would have found this book incredibly helpful last semester in Old Testament. Thankfully this book came in time for me to use it in my New Testament class starting on Monday!

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Book Review of Thy Kingdom Connected

2010-01-27T19:43:00.001-08:00

In addition to being a booksneeze blogger, I also review books for The Ooze Viral Bloggers. The opportunity to review Thy Kingdom Come by Dwight J. Friesen recently came to my inbox, and I had to jump on it. The subtitle is "What the Church can Learn from Facebook, the Internet, and Other Networks." Basically the book used networky terms and ideas to communicate the role of the church, the role of pastors, the idea of the kingdom of God, and missions.

What I really enjoyed about this book was the complexity of this book. It was easy to read, but it was written in a variety of styles- textbookish at times, businessy at times, leadership-like at other times. Also, at the end of each chapter, the author gave some suggested books to read as well as some reflection questions. These types of additions really make a book more than a one-time read experience. It networks you to other books, other resources, and makes the reading experience more of an ongoing conversation. In fact, that's very in-line with Friesen's premise.

If you are a church leader, or an future church leader, this book is for you, ESPECIALLY the chapters on what church is. Although the subtitle is slightly misleading (there's not much talk about using facebook or the internet for the purpose of the church), it's still a great book on the idea of the kingdom of God being like a giant network.

The Voice New Testament

2010-01-26T12:50:00.000-08:00

The Voice New Testament is a translation of Scripture that brings together biblical integrity with art/beauty. Have you ever read a translation of the New Testament and it just didn't really connect with your heart? And then read a translation that does? They say the same thing, just in a different way. The Voice does a fantastic job of staying true to the text, but in such a way that allows you to get wrapped up in the beautiful story of God and His people. This translation is truly a translation, and not something like The Message, which doesn't really claim to be a translation. There are a lot of people who have worked, and are continuing to work on this project- scholars, artists, musicians, and wrtiers.

Admittingly, Scripture has been a little dry to me lately. But this translation has helped me to see the story of God's love and instruction a little more clearly, and a little more intimately. I AM SO EXCITED TO READ THIS ONE ALL THE WAY THROUGH! This translation would be a great gift to someone who is in their twenties or thirties and looking to get a fresh look on Scripture.

A Sabbath

2010-01-23T19:16:00.000-08:00

Today was such a great day. I just have to share it with someone.

I woke up after a full night of sleep thanks to Jake, who slept downstairs in the kids' room in case Aly awoke. She DID wake, but she put herself back to sleep everytime. Yippee! That was an encouraging step in her sleep.

So, I woke up, on my own at around 7:00a, came downstairs and hung out with Aly and Asante so Jake could get a little sleep in the bed. After Jake was up, we hung out and then went to the library (which is always fun). After that we came home, ate lunch, and Asante took his nap. While he was sleeping, Jake worked on stuff that he wanted to do and I watched Aly. We hung out on the floor, played, and laughed. Jake woke up Asante after 2 hours, and then he took Aly and I got to do what I wanted to do. Which was, surprisingly not reading....but scrapbooking! I did about 6 pages, which I was pleased with. I decided I needed a few more basic items to allow me to continue, so at 5:30 the family decided to take a shopping trip to the mall area. This was probably not the smartest idea, but it turned out great. We got scrapbooking stuff at Hobby Lobby (and used 2 great coupons!), then to Old Navy to buy Jake a new pair of khakis for work (with his gift card). They were regularly $27.50 and we got them for $16.50 total! Then, we went to Target to buy Asante a new puzzle.

Asante is a puzzle addict. And really quite good at them. He's been doing 24 piece puzzles very easily, and 48 piece floor puzzles with a small challenge. We found a great 100 piece Toy Story puzzle at Target that we think will be a great next step up. We'll probably need to sit by him while he's doing it to encourage him and give him a little guidance.

We came home, ate dinner (at 7:30p!), did a little puzzle, and put the kids to bed. Here's the amazing part. I took Aly into the room to rock her, and she wasn't going to sleep, so I put her in her crib, gave her her teddy bear and her blanket, and said it was time to go to sleep. I laid my hand on her head for a minute, and then left. Her eyes were open when I left, but she fell asleep without a peep! Amazing! I can't count on this all the time, but I will love it when it happens.

So, now I'm here on the couch with the hubby, and going to enjoy reading before bed. What a great restful and creative day!

What is Normal?

2010-01-21T12:04:00.000-08:00

Over break, I've been catching up on some reading that I've had on my bookshelf for awhile...most of it having to do with collegiate ministry and young adults/ twentysomethings. One that I'm reading right now is Twentysomething by Margaret Feinberg. It's pretty general so far, but still a good resource for those working with students just about to graduate college or just out of college.

One point that Margaret makes is that we too often compare ourselves to others' progress. We hear about these AMAZING people in their twenties who are doing great, inspiring, meaningful things. They're starting businesses, have 4 kids, travelling around the world, or in the NFL. We forget that these people are not the norm. If they were, we wouldn't hear about them. But, because we have the internet and access to lots of things around the world, these stories are only getting more and more frequent. These stories often leave us "normal" people feeling like we should be further along in life, or that we're lacking in some area. But this is simply not true.

My generation is trying to achieve in 10 years what our parents achieved over their lifetime. We want the house, the furniture, the job, the position/title, the education, the travel experience, and the family that takes time to get. In order to not be the generation that is stressed out and pushed to the limits, we gotta slow down, take time for people (including our growing families), and learn to rest. And to enjoy God and His creation. Isn't that so hard?

Okay, so as an encouragement and reminder to myself and hopefully to any readers that are out there, I am going to start highlighting some ordinary, normal people who may or may not be making the news about their amazing accomplishments, but who are seriously impacting the world for the good. If you have any suggestions, please email me at tiffanydotmalloyatgmaildotcom.

A Light-hearted Statement on Sleep

2010-01-21T08:20:00.000-08:00

On a more comical note, I've been having some trouble sleeping this past month or so, and I joked to Jake one night after laying in bed for an hour without falling asleep, "How in the world am I supposed to teach my kids how to sleep when I can't even do it myself?!" :)

Ferberizing

2010-01-21T07:19:00.001-08:00

I've been doing a little more research on the "crying it out" method of sleep training. We've contemplated starting it, but are going back and forth since she's been sick lately. We are to the end of our rope with her bad sleeping the past week. It's a tough decision.

Here's an article I found today that has been informative on some of the rumors surrounding "ferberizing":

http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified_7755.bc

Here are some thoughts:

* Aly slept through the night (10-12 hours straight) from 7 weeks until 6 months. She put herself back to sleep when she woke up.
* When she's healthy (which has been few and far between since she's turned 6 months old), she sleeps through the night often and also puts herself back to sleep.
* When she wakes up recently, she sits up, screams, and when I pick her up, her heart is beating a million miles a minute. Could it be separation anxiety coupled with hunger and stomach hurting?
* People say people don't let their kid cry it out because the parents are weak or selfish and "can't handle it", but that it is "best for the child". But then again, is it okay for a parent to let her kid cry it out because she can't take it anymore? Seems like a double standard.
* People say you should let your child cry it out around 6 months because they can do it by then. But, what other milestone does anyone give a definite age on? Are all children ready to cry it out by 6 or even 10 months? Do we expect all kids to be crawling by 6 or 7 months? Or talking by 13 months? Or walking by 12 months? Of course not. We know that babies are different and have different personalities/temperaments.

Now, this is not to say we're not going to try it. We will try some kind of abbreviated version of it if she doesnt go back to sleeping through the night once she's over her sickness. But, I think that many assumptions are made about this method, and that many parents don't do the research for other options. So, my advice to all: Do your research! Read more than one book. Read multiple websites and read different research-- all sides of the discussion! :)

I still got it! ;)

2010-01-19T08:52:00.001-08:00

Two days ago we went to Walmart to get a prescription filled for Aly's little sore behind. The pharmacist needed to talk to me about it, and after beginning to talk to me, stopped in mid-sentence, and said, "I can't believe you have 2 kids. You look so young!" I of course laughed, and said, "Yeah, a lot of people say that." She shook her head, and continued her instructions...only to stop AGAIN, to say, "I'm sorry, I'm just having a hard time understanding how you have two kids."

I hadn't heard that in awhile. Typically it annoys me, but since it had been so long, I took it as a compliment =). I'll be thankful when I'm 50! Currently, however, it's just annoying.

Ni-hao!

2010-01-17T10:29:00.000-08:00

We've started to teach Asante a little bit of different languages. He's great at repeating the words and using them...just some of them in the wrong contexts.

Example:
Ni-hao. This means Hello in Chinese.

To Asante, this has been used as the following:
"Ni-hao, Ni-hao" - the sound a donkey makes.
"Niiii-haoooo!" - an exclamatory substituted for the word "Wow" or "Awesome"

Ah, I love watching the process of learning language. It's so interesting to see words and concepts evolve.

When Asante was first learning to talk, the word "dog" meant everything that moved....even people for a brief period of time! Then it moved to anything that had 4 legs (meaning the insects were no longer included)...and then it eventually moved to both dogs and cats, and then dogs. What a fun process to watch!

For all you moms out there, any fun language stories or mishaps?

Free Book*

2010-01-13T20:09:00.000-08:00

I must admit that after 30 pages of Free Book by Brian Tome, I was pretty put off. I was shocked by some of the things that he was saying and almost dismissed this book as one that “tough guys” who love to be the independent American should read. I wondered who in the world would want to read a whole book of this. But, I decided to persevere through it (since I'm reviewing it for Thomas Nelson's book review program, booksneeze).

I would have missed out on a lot had I put it down. PLEASE persevere through the first few chapters because it gets really good. Tome guides the reader through a series of chapters which makes you think about various strongholds in your life that is preventing you from experiencing real freedom in Christ. I will be rereading this book in order to think about some of the things that came up in my own heart.

Tome certainly does “bring it”, but in an incredibly authentic and humble way. I would recommend this book to anyone who thinks they are not experiencing life to the fullest--- the way God wants us to experience it.

A Little Challenge

2010-01-08T13:43:00.001-08:00

I've been spending some time these past few weeks reading through books related to the field of campus ministry. College is a time of transition, identify formation, and decision. Students from our youth groups move away and are getting connected in new communities. Don't we want them to have a family away from home? Don't we want someone there to shepherd them? Don't we want a person or team of people specialized in the current collegiate field to do what they do best- love and guide and resource college students?

I think we'd all say yes to the above. So here's my challenge.

Find a campus ministry in your area (whether that be through your local church or a campus-based ministry) or one you were involved with in college, and give them a new year gift of money. Maybe even commit to give them a little gift each month. Perhaps you could even commit to always supporting a campus ministry for the rest of your life! This could look like $10/month. From past experience, no gift is too small. Why? Because one of the hardest things about collegiate ministry is funding. You could even designate where you want your money to go: Campus ministers salaries, materials for ministry, building costs, campus organization costs, mission trips, conference scholarships, etc.

Students fall off the church's radar screen when they go to college. Many never come back. CRAZY amounts don't come back. Help make collegiate ministry possible. Just give a little.

Honey!

2010-01-06T11:15:00.001-08:00

Cough and cold medicine is no longer advised for children under 6. For anyone who has a toddler or preschooler at home who has a bad cough, especially at night while sleeping, this is BAD news. Recently Asante had a bad cough that would wake him up in the middle of the night, so I went looking for an alternative home remedy. I came across honey! (Note: Honey is not recommended for toddlers under 2 years of age because of fear of botulism). I wouldn't recommend local honey for those just over 2- instead, get the one at the store in the bear jar. The chance of bad spores being in a local honey is higher than the big factory honey.

The first night we tried it out, Asante didn't cough. At. All. The second and third night, he may have coughed once, but not enough to wake him up. I was so surprised but excited to find a safe, natural remedy!

I'm becoming attracted to alternative, natural remedies instead of many of the man-made medicines. I'm certainly not against the man-made, but I would like to start trying the natural ones first.

So, I'd encourage you all to give a teaspoon of honey before bed to fight those night time coughs!

She finally did it!

2010-01-04T19:03:00.000-08:00

Okay, so although I blogged the other day about my inner conflicts with blogging about children, I'm going to brag about my little almost-9-month-old, Aly....

SHE STARTED CRAWLING TODAY!!!!!

We were hanging out at the Parents as Teachers Lending Library, and Jake found something she really wanted. So, she got a determined look on her face and just did it! It was cool that Jake and I both got to see it.

I've been waiting on this for awhile; I even had myself convinced she would never do it. It must have been watching her great cousin Grant who is only a couple weeks older than her, but is crawling and cruising around like an expert. We hung out with them in Potosi for awhile this past weekend, so that must have done it!

This just goes to show me that all kids really are different. By this age, Asante was crawling, climbing, and cruising all around.

She has a lot of practice to get in before she actually does it on a regular basis, but it'll be getting crazy around here soon, I'm sure! Yippee!!

Our New Daily Schedule

2010-01-04T11:49:00.001-08:00

A new year came with a new job, and subsequently a new schedule, here in the Malloy household. Jake got a job teaching math at Douglass High School, so our new schedule is:

9:20 Jake leaves for work
9:20-1:40 Tiff at home with the kids
1:40-2:40 Jake working on classes
2:40-5:00 Hang out as a family and do errands/library trips, etc.
5:00 Tiff makes dinner while Jake plays with the kids
6:45 Dinner
7:15 Bath, bedtime routine
8:00/8:30 Bedtime for both kids

Of course kids aren't this predictable, but these are the guidelines we're working on. Also, on Tuesday and Thursday, Asante goes to Little Miracles Preschool in the mornings.

Once my classes start, our schedule will look more like this:

7:30a Tiff starts working on her classes
9:00a Jake gets ready and leaves
2:00p Tiff works on classes until 5:00p

This will be our M and F schedules. TWR my momma will be here to help out with the kiddos, so I'll get more time to work on classes while Jake is at work.

I think it'll be a good change for the whole family!

Blogging that Promotes Love

2009-12-31T14:16:00.001-08:00

I'm having a hard time figuring out what to blog, or why I even blog in the first place.

Sometimes things pop into my mind to write a post on- a milestone of the kids, a yummy recipe I'm enjoying, a fun activity I'm working on, etc. But then I think- why am I blogging about this? Do I want others to see how cool my kid is? Do I want others to think better of me because of what I say? Do I want to be well-known for something? So then I choose not to blog because I feel like it's slightly egotistical. Hence I don't end up blogging very often.

Have you ever read a blog post of a friend and thought- "wow, i feel lame. my kids aren't doing that" or "i must be really boring" or "i feel like i'm lacking in _____ area of my life". That comparison bug bites me all of the time, and I wonder if blogging sometimes eggs that on amongst people.

Now I'm considering if I should have a more professional blog- dealing with relaying information and research I come across to help others-- instead of having a personal blog. However, the thing about a personal blog is that my family and friends who are far away can be updated on how our family is doing. But then I think- I can do that through a simple email or with a phone call and ask in turn how THEY are doing.

So, my friends, I'm torn. What is the purpose of healthy blogging?

Take Your Best Shot by Austin Gutwein

2009-12-16T14:26:00.000-08:00

For my first post-semester book, I chose one that I've had around for a couple months now called Take Your Best Shot by Austin Gutwein (yep, that's the founder of Hoops of Hope) and Todd Hillard. It's a young adult book, so it was a very relaxing, quick read that left me encouraged and motivated to do something to help someone. Gutwein and Hillard encourage teenagers to take their best shot at doing something substantial for someone else, all the while weaving in Gutwein's story of how Hoops of Hope came about.

The authors did a great job of emphasizing that although this was one way of helping others, there are many more ways out there for a person to use their interests and skills to advance the Kingdom of God. Each chapter ended with a short reflection on a passage of Scripture and some kind of “put this into practice” suggestion. I think that young adults will connect with the author and be inspired to seek out what God desires for them to do, whether that be big or small.

If you're looking for a book to give a young adult this Christmas season, this would be a great one to encourage generosity and obedience to God!

Christmas Break Wish List

2009-12-08T09:26:00.000-08:00

Things to Do over Christmas Break + January

x1. Read Thomas Nelson Reviewers book and blog about it.
2. Finish reading Benson Hines' College Ministry ebook.
3. Scrapbook Aly's life thus far.
x4. Order all books for next semester.
x5. Clean the refrigerator.
6. Plan a Louisville, Wilmore, Dayton roadtrip.
7. Complete financial aid stuff for Asbury.
x8. Write a thank you letter for scholarship (again).
9. Do Taxes (got my copy of turbo tax in the mail!)
10. Update facebook with pictures.
11. Plan out a month worth of blog posts.
x12. Read lots of sleep and nursing books.
13. Work on my collegiate/young adult ministry idea files.
x14. Read all of my google reader articles that are starred.
x15. Reply to every starred email (sorry to those of you who haven't gotten replies yet...)
x16. Re-create by browser bookmarks.
17. Re-create my computer working space (music, pics, folders, etc.)...still need to recover from old computer.
18. Backup my new laptop.
19. Rethink the purpose of my blog and proceed accordingly.

Sleeping update

2009-11-27T20:13:00.000-08:00

Several have asked how Aly's sleeping has been going these past few days.

Somehow Aly has begun to sleep through the night again (my definition of this is sleeping from bedtime until 4a (8-9 hours). Anytime after 4a I will feed her, after which she falls asleep immediately and sleeps another 2-3 hours.

I've been perusing several books (I won't get to read any of them closely until my classes are done in a couple weeks), but I'm really enjoying some of the Dr. Sears stuff. The book I've been looking at closest is The Baby Sleep Book. Although I don't like some of Sears' stuff, I do like others. Particularly, they say, "trust your own instincts and make your own decisions about what is best for your individual baby and you" (5). I love how they empower the parents to make decisions based on what works best for the family, instead of saying that one certain way works best for all families.

I think we decided she's too young/sensitive to let her cry it out right now (she's 7.5 months old now). I really think it was separation anxiety at its peak-- she's starting to ease up during the day from being very clingy, so maybe we're on the downhill? Last night was a rough one- she woke up at 1a and then at 4a, wanting to be asleep SO bad, but just very restless, tossing and turning. We gave her some teething tablets, and she went back to sleep after they kicked in.

So, all this to say, I think right now we're taking it night-by-night, knowing that some will be rough due to anxiety issues or not enough food during the day or teething, but as long as we're not noticing a pattern in the times she wakes up, it seems like it's okay and probably related to external circumstances instead of an unable to self-soothe issue. We've heard her cry a little in the middle of the night, but then within a minute or two, put herself back to sleep. Hopefully this means she's learning how to sleep, but other things are just getting in her way?

I'm going to post more of my reading after Christmas!

Big stuff going down!

2009-11-27T19:41:00.001-08:00

There's big happenings going on in the Malloy family.

1. We've started potty training with Asante. It's going great. He's taken well to the "just put underwear on and see what happens" method. I'm guessing he just doesn't want to pee on his new Elmo undies :).

2. Tonight we took away the pacifier. After an hour of crying, he fell asleep. We'll see what happens when he wakes up in the middle of the night looking for it. We haven't thrown away the pacifiers though. I'm not sure what we're waiting for, but I feel more secure knowing that they are there, just in case :).

3. Today was also day one of the weaning process for Aly. I think I have a 8-week plan (ish) to stop nursing...this will put her at about 10 months. WAY longer than I ever planned. Right now we're at a bottle a day. She doesn't like it, but she'll get used to it.

Anyway, lots of changes. We figured this would be the best time...I'll be done with school in a couple weeks, so will have the time and energy to devote to these energy-consuming parenting tasks. Pray for us for patience, and the kids for flexibility! They've been rock stars so far.

Need Sleeping Advice!

2009-11-15T19:07:00.000-08:00

Well blog friends, I need your opinions-- especially you moms and dads out there who have experience with sleep and kids!

Here's our situation. What would you do?!

Aly: Aly had been sleeping through the night, 10-12 hours without waking up, from 7 weeks - 6 months. Then, all of a sudden, she started waking up to eat once per night, which was fine. She wasn't eating the recommended amount of ounces (only 20-24 oz instead of around 30 oz), so she was probably hungry. We talked to the doctor, and he agreed. She needed that extra feeding until she started eating more during the day. Well, she has gotten up to that point AND started to eat a lot more solids (little bit 3x per day). So, hunger is definitely not an issue anymore. However, she's still waking up 2, 3, sometimes 5 times per night. This has been coupled with her being very clingy to me, and stranger anxiety.

Asante: Has been working on giving up his nap, so on days he doesnt nap, he sleeps from 6p-5:30a. On days he does, 8:00/8:30p-6:00/6:30a.

Momma: I am working on classes from 8:30p-midnight/1:00a most nights.

Dad: Gets up in the middle of the night with Aly AND gets up early most days with Asante since I'm going to bed so late.

This, as you can imagine, makes for a rough time for all of us. Both of us can't nap during the day, because Asante hasn't been taking naps, AND Aly only naps 2-3x per day, for 20-30 minutes each time.

Here's what we've been doing: If Aly doesn't go back to sleep when we go in to soothe her, Jake brings her up to me and I nurse her- she falls asleep- and then sometimes sleeps until the morning. Sometimes Jake ends up sleeping downstairs with her on the couch. I don't want to create bad habits, but, we need to sleep in order to function during the day.

I'm pretty opposed to the Crying It Out method because of Aly's personality. She's incredibly sensitive, and I refuse to allow her to cry to the point of vomiting. We've been trying the "wait 10 minutes" thing, but it's not working.

So, parents and friends, I'm soliciting advice :). What would you do in our situation?

A good prayer

2009-11-13T14:35:00.001-08:00

For one of my classes, I'm to read at least 500 pages of contemporary leadership material. So, for a portion of that, I decided to pick up It by Craig Groeschel (thanks JR.- it's actually you're old book!).

There are parts I really liked about it. And parts I really disliked. But, the prayer at the end that Craig leaves the reader with is excellent, and a prayer that I want to pray for myself and for my community. Here it is:

May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart.
May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and the exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.
May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, and starvation, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain into joy.
And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.

Amen.

Those that remain

2009-10-21T08:00:00.001-07:00

Jake substitute teaches for the local school district, and on MWF he teaches math at a private school in town, so he's unable to sub. On these days, however, they (the automated system) beckon him to come work. Surprisingly, or maybe not so surprisingly, the jobs that are left unfilled are almost all special education jobs. As I've watched the job list update, as soon as a non-special ed job comes up, it's gone within minutes. But the special ed job remains.

What does this say about society? And since a lot of substitute teachers are young people/those in college, what does this say about those entering the workforce, my peers?

My nemesis

2009-09-28T21:50:00.001-07:00

I'm learning that my biggest leadership challenge will be my emotions.

Not letting them get the best of me.
Not letting them immobilize me.
Not letting them manifest as physical ailments.
Not letting them get me to lose hope.

This is what could take me out of the game later on. So I need my community to gently help me to see and work through things when those circumstances come.

I'm Grieving

2009-09-27T19:16:00.000-07:00

Allow me to vent.

My laptop crashed this afternoon. Hard drive is gone.

So are...

all my documents from this semester of school.
all of my firefox bookmarks--- compiled over *years* worth of time
my research articles that I just downloaded not too long ago
parts of my family documents.
I can't think about anything else. It's too painful.

I did backup on August 6th, so that's good.
But it's September 27th.
Sad.

Not sure what we'll do at this point. I'm sharing Jake's desktop until we find a solution.

Here are our options so far:
1. Buy a new hard drive online (the TigerTech guy said that we can probably get one online for about $80). Then, we'd have to insert it ourselves, or maybe have them do it. My laptop also doesn't have a working cd/dvd drive, so that's a purchase we'd need to do as well. In addition, it got dropped a month or so ago, so it makes a funny clicking sound when I open and close it. This option would be to replace those above two items and pray the funny clicking sound is only cosmetic.

2. Buy a used laptop and just try to sell my old one to someone for a hundred dollars or so...taking the parts that they want/need. In case that clicking sound would make something else break after we spend a few hundred dollars replacing the broken items.

3. Buy a new laptop. This is looking like the the most unlikely. In fact, I don't think this is even an option.

Sigh. I'm sad. Maybe unreasonably sad. In fact, it breaking made me seriously consider quitting online classes. Probably a little overboard, but was feeling that way nonetheless.

It was just so ... comfortable. It was my home away from home. I could take it with me wherever and work on whatever. It was all organized *just so*.

And Now For Aly

2009-09-26T20:18:00.000-07:00

I figured it's only fair that I post an Aly update as well. She's not making as big of leaps and bounds that we can see, but one thing she IS getting- and that is happier! Up until this point, she's been a moderately cranky little darling child. I attribute this to her sensitivity (she's very reactive to different sights, sounds, smells, and touches). A change in environment can cause an overload for her, especially when she's sleepy. As she's maturing, I think she's able to handle these things much better.

Physically, she's sitting up by herself for indeterminate amounts of time, and tonight she got up on all fours for a little bit (but not making any forward motion). Jake predicts that she will begin crawling in 14 days. So we'll see. :) She is in the stage of loving to play with any kinds of paper/tags/etc. Aly's doing a good job of using her hands to grab things that she wants, and holding on to them as well. In fact, tonight she held a toad!

Aly was visiting Grandma and Grandpa Malloy's house, but is back with us now. We missed her a lot and realized that a half of a week is a long time in baby development!

We have lots of video and photo uploading to catch up on; I think we'll work on it some tomorrow and hopefully have some entertaining media within the week for your viewing pleasure.

QOTD: Babies being barred from the sanctuary

2009-09-25T12:12:00.000-07:00

Kids under 2 being barred from the big sanctuary? Read about it here, and let me know what you think. Is it a big deal? Is it not?

******

Here's my promised edit with my view.

I agree that it can be distracting for parents to have their baby in the sanctuary with them. BUT, I think it should be their choice as to whether or not have them in there with them. Cry rooms are great, but not all church congregations have them (we don't). I don't think we should force people to go out. I can guarantee that that will turn some people away, especially those who don't want their young babies in the nursery with strangers taking care of them.

As for others who find it distracting, my advice is to get over it. A little crying distraction never hurt anyone; as the community gets used to it, it'll get easier to tolerate. Plus, mothers don't leave crying babies in the sanctuary- they run out because they get nervous and embarrassed.

I think some good points were made in the comments below, both on blogger and facebook. Kids really do learn a lot through observation. During the years 0-3, the kids' brains learn the fastest. They are little sponges, and are very interested in learning what adults do. Sure, it may not all be age-appropriate, and I think it's nice for there to be options of a nursery where the kids are doing age-appropriate activities (singing songs, talking about stories, making crafts)....but, I think there needs to be times of observation as well. I'm not sure playing on a indoor playground is really investing in the children. Fun, sure, but .... ?

La La La La, La La La La...Asante's World {1}

2009-09-21T10:46:00.000-07:00

Last week, Asante has started going to preschool/day care. It's this great, in-home place that is run by a husband and wife, plus a few MU students. They are from one of the local churches, and seem to be a great family. I actually found out about them by showing up at their yard sale, and after we got to chatting, she told me she had a couple openings. So, one week later, we visit and Asante doesn't want to leave....which is a great sign!

He goes on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, from 7:10a-12:20p. He enjoys it so far, and has brought home fun craft projects both days. :) We're excited for him to get a little socialization and hopefully learn from the bigger 3 and 4 year-olds.

In the past week, he has also started doing his "happy dance", which is pretty funny to see. He'll do it anytime of day, and in lots of locations- his room, his bed, the bathtub and his car seat. I hope to post a video of it soon for those of you who are far away.

In addition, his newest phrase is "watch me, mommy [or daddy or aly]", and then he does something that he thinks we'll find to be funny or impressive.

We've been pleased with his sentence-making, sometimes stringing together 5 or 6 words. He started stuttering pretty bad last week, which made us nervous since severe stuttering runs in my side of the family. It was making him very frustrated, and he'd say, "No talk" and kind of whimper. I felt so bad for him because I was quite the stutterer for a very long time (and still do time-to-time). But, this week it's been a lot less, so it may have just accompanied his jump in vocabulary.

We've been thinking about 2nd birthday party details, so if anyone has any fun ideas/themes, let us know! Right now we're considering a farmyard theme, or maybe Elmo :).

[1] Elmo's World, anyone? If you're not familiar, youtube it.

The Week Before Craziness Begins

2009-09-03T18:53:00.001-07:00

At the Imler-Malloy house, we've been enjoying the calm before the storm. Next week begins my and Henry's first week of classes-- eek! I think it's going to be just fine; crazy, but just fine. I've been working ahead on my reading some, so I feel like it's going to be manageable now.

Since it's the last week before classes, I've calmed down a bit on study/reading time, and have been working on some around-the-house projects so that I won't go crazy not being able to do them because of the start of the semester.

The first project has been putting the finishing touches on our bedroom decor and our part of the office decor/space organization. I should post a picture, but I'll wait until thing are clean.

The second one, as I alluded to in the last post, is gathering materials for learning themes. Every month, we'll have 1-2 learning themes that we'll spend some time each day doing. I'm working on gathering the big materials for each 16 themes, and I'll add a little as we're actually doing it. The themes include toys, learning objectives, signing, books, music, videos and art. At least that's what I'm aiming to do. It's a big job but I really like working on it.

Thirdly, I've been doing a little research on fun toys that I'd like for the future room of current Malloy + any more future Malloy children. Some things I've found are homemade kitchen sets, puppet show stages, wooden block building areas, reading corners, art tables/displays, and dollhouses/barns. People are creating some pretty cool things. Here's a link to one of my favorite creations.

Lastly, I've been trying to organize small things like scrapbooking materials, family binders, clippings that I've cut from magazines in the past, catch up on laundry, write a couple letters, do a few bills, things like that. This weekend could include a little scrapbooking of some past events, and then once Tuesday starts, I have little to no extra projects until Christmas!

So, that's an update on the world of Tiffany, the mother/organizer.

Revitalizing

2009-08-31T20:12:00.000-07:00

I have some fun posts in the works. I aim to post real posts more often, and the fake ones {daily tweets} less often. My blog has become lame-o, and I'm going to revitalize it. It's going to be a weird mix of mom and seminary musings. Weird, I know. But it's where I'm at. I wonder if there are people out there who are in the same boat as well? Balancing motherhood and seminary- both being important and lots of hard work!

Intentional Discovery

2009-07-21T21:54:00.000-07:00

I've started working on a plan of intentional education for Asante for the rest of the year. He's only 20 months old, so I don't want to be hyper structured in the way I'm teaching him. However, I've noticed that he learns well in themes, so I decided to plan 2 themes a month, each for about 2 and a half weeks, where we focus on learning about a certain subject. Here's what I have so far:
August: 1.) Moving/Forest/Outdoors
2.) Body Parts
September: 1.) Music
2.) Colors
October: 1.) Fall
2.) Food
November: 1.) Family and Birthday
2.) Thanksgiving
December: 1.) Winter
2.) Holiday
I'm researching books, videos, CDs/music, activities, and discussion topics for each theme, along with making some loose objectives for each one. If anyone has any age-appropriate suggestions, let me know! We'll be using the Little Red boxes at the library, along with the purple PAL bags if applicable. The Columbia Public Library is amazing and I'm so sad that we'll be without it in a year.

Anyway, this is what I've been working on in my free time! If anyone wants me to work on constructing age-appropriate kits, let me know!

Move, Part I

2009-07-18T20:04:00.000-07:00

Today was round one of moving across town to live with the Imler family. It went well. We now have almost our whole house over there sitting in our bedroom. I wish I would have taken a picture. It's slightly nightmare-ish, but Jake assures me that it'll be easy to organize. He's good at that. (reader is probably thinking- good at assuring or organizing? ambiguity is purposeful). Thank you JR., Scott, Adriene, and Bryce for helping us today. The trucks, trailers, and hands were answered prayers.

For next week, our plan of action is organizing everything that is already there into its place.

Then the following week, Move Part II will occur. I will update the progress.

Quarterlife Crisis

2009-07-09T12:22:00.000-07:00

The growing trend today is to talk about graduating college students as having a "quarterlife crisis." Midlife crisises, as we're more familiar with, are when the tension of 3 conflicting desires climax: to have a successful career, to have satisfaction in your work, and to have a rich personal life (Guinness in The Call, 143).

Some in the media and church like to criticize the younger generation for being slow in growing up and lazy in pursuing financial independence. This generation takes time to choose what they want to do, are slow to settle down on a one-track career, and want immediate gratification in their jobs (instead of climbing the corporate ladder to meaningfulness). Could it be that we've seen the incontentness and midlife crisis' of our parents and other elders, and are protecting ourselves from that from the beginning? This is my thesis; we'll see how it works out in 20-30 years.

Fragile Humanity

2009-07-09T07:01:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about how as humans, we are really fragile. No matter how long we've been in a community, one thing can throw us for a mental loop - do people really care? Or when we mess up, we ask- do I really have good character? Sometimes people commit a significant sin and ask- am i really saved? Or we have a big fight with a loved one and ask ourselves- do they really love us, and do we really love them?

One thing negative can cancel out ten things that are positive. Why is that?

Check it Out- Wasabi Gospel

2009-07-08T07:00:00.000-07:00

A book bomb is going off on amazon.com, you may want to check it out.

I got the privilege of being able to get a sneak peak of this bomb, called the Wasabi Gospel, written by Shawn Wood. You may have heard of another book that he's written, 200 Pomegranates and an Audience of One.

Anyway, although I didn't have time to read the entire book word for word, I did skim through it and read chapter 4 in-depth: Rich People Go Straight to Hell, Do Not Pass Go.
Sound challenging? Yeaaah. It was. Wood does a great job of communicating wasabi-like Scripture passages in a way that is easy to identify with and that reveals the real zest with which Jesus said them.

Who is "the rich"? Could it be you or me? What are we expected to do with excess? What are people doing today because of this truth? Not meant to produce a guilt trip or wring us through the dryer, Wood encourages and challenges readers to live the life of the Kingdom- bring the Kingdom to earth. If all the chapters in this book are a similar quality, this is going to be a must-read for all young adults.

To learn more about this book and about the author, be sure to check out any of the following links:

www.wasabigospel.com
www.shawnwoodwrites.com
www.twitter.com/shawnwood
www.facebook.com/shawnwood

Injustice in the World

2009-07-08T06:37:00.001-07:00

The idea of justice has been on my mind lately. It seems to be coming up everywhere. We talked about it a little in Sunday School last week in our small group discussions of Crazy Love, I came across the most recent Catalyst Journal which focuses on God's justice, my friend Laura brought it up in her blog, and this morning I was reading about it in my online class. I think it's a topic that the Lord is asking me to re-explore, especially as I reflect on past and present personal experiences.

From this morning's reading, there's this family therapist named Ivan Boszormenyi-Nagy, and he has a family therapy plan that's based on justice and fairness. He says that good, healthy families are based on love and trust. When parents act in loving and trustworthy ways, the children respond and become loving and trustworthy adults. If children don't get this environment, then they have an imbalance of the equity in the everyday giving and taking that goes on in life.

What happens when these children become adults? Probably one of two things. The first is that they have the attitude of "i didn't get it then, but i'm sure gonna get it now." Second, the attitude of "i didn't deserve it then, so i dont deserve it now." So the injustice continues.

Apply that to our "family" around the world. Kids grow up in war-torn, impoverished countries, or in violent, impoverished American neighborhoods, and weren't treated in loving and trustworthy ways. So they grow up to typically be non-loving and non-trustworthy adults. And the injustice perpetuates.

So, how do we help this and stop the cycle of injustice? By radically loving and acting in trustworthy ways to those we come into contact with. Not just to be "good people" but to battle injustice. So the next time I want to lash out at the person who didn't do something that I liked, or when I feel like no one is looking out for me and I need to act in a selfish way to protect my needs and wants, I need to remember that that will only breed more selfishness and injustice. Instead, we are called to step out in love, becoming a sort of a sacrifice ... hmmm... that sounds familiar...

p.s. could this be a step to peacemaking- working for peace and transformation in creative non-violent ways?

Growing, Growing....

2009-06-30T09:35:00.001-07:00

Aly had to go to the doc this morning because of a little problem, but no worries, all is a-okay (don't ask what it was, it involves gross things like excrement). anyway, one of the routine things is weighing in- aaaand, since last check up, aly has gained 2 oz shy of 2 lbs. For those of you who are wondering, that appointment was 3 weeks ago...making her weigh in at almost 14 lbs. The doctor seemed to think I just have a really good supply of milk.

Daily Tweets

2009-06-29T21:55:00.001-07:00

22:15 @hundiejo, i bet your students would LOVE to hear that you can't upload assignment files #
22:15 @ashleynwilliams- praying for you guys! i look forward to hearing about it when you get back #
22:37 i'm currently in class. gotta love online classes (i really do!) #
23:34 why did i drink a can of soda at 10:00p? #
23:49 ...and i'm out. #

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Daily Tweets

2009-06-27T21:55:00.001-07:00

12:53 @kissingerdv... sloth, envy, gluttony, lust, greed, wrath, and pride #
13:04 hanging out in Potosi, working on my class while jake, asante and aly nap #
22:00 my mouth hurts. 4 mouth sores currently plaguing me. am i that stressed? #

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Daily Tweets

2009-06-26T21:55:00.001-07:00

13:31 @jakemalloy- awesome! #

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Daily Tweets

2009-06-25T21:55:00.001-07:00

08:09 @hundiejo eek about the long night! little reed just loved hanging out with you so much he didn't want to fall back asleep huh? :) #
08:10 @reelizja, that's impressive; i guess it worked?! #
11:35 internet at home FINALLlY working; was out at 10:45p, driving around, looking for wifi. #
12:25 baby closet just might be starting to come together... #
13:25 starting 2nd online course: about finances #
13:54 stuck at pre-baby weight + 5 lbs; ready to start kicking it! :) #
13:55 @mizzoubsu, hopefully that printer/copier is behaving itself #
21:15 "YOU are the biggest loser. good-bye." yeah, dont know what that's in my head. welcome to the mind of tiffany. #
21:21 wait, is that quote supposed to be "you are the weakest link. goodbye." ? #
21:24 i heart methodists. #
21:26 loves "twitter crack" #
21:28 madonna + sesame street= asante's current fav. movie: Elmo's Summertime #
21:29 i #
21:29 can't #
21:29 stop #
21:29 tweeting #
22:18 @magster212 oh no! what's going on? #
23:07 off to bed (hopefully). more class work in the morning! #

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Daily Tweets

2009-06-24T21:55:00.001-07:00

08:45 really craving Panera's ck noodle soup, and it's only 8:45a #
09:34 desires to come up with a theology of community. #

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Daily Tweets

2009-06-23T21:55:00.001-07:00

00:23 finally going to bed; another late night! #
08:57 @lessecho- sweet! look forward to a blog post about it ;) #
11:46 just got an email from my friend that i met in china 5-6 years ago- so fun! #
12:40 @ashleynwilliams; i've got to see this haircut; i'm hearing all about it! #
12:49 @hundie jo- i'm so glad! i think jake is gonna come around 3:45, and then me later on in the evening, if that's okay... :) we'll call. #
21:52 whoa. it is windy out there. #

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Two month check-up

2009-06-23T20:21:00.000-07:00

So, I forgot to post Aly's 2 month check-up details a few weeks ago. Better late than never.

On 6-11-09,
Height: 24.25 inches (90-95%)
Weight: 12 lbs, 1 oz (50-75%)
Head: 38.5 cm (95-99%)

No wonder she is eating ALL the time. We have it stretched to 3 hours between feeds, most of the time anyway. She is still sleeping all night, which i'm so thankful for. And I think everyone else in the family is thankful for that too. I tend to get REALLY cranky when running on little sleep.

Daily Tweets

2009-06-22T21:55:00.001-07:00

11:22 @hundiejo- how many cm dilated? #
12:40 @ashleynwilliams- yep! kiddos are sleeping but should be up sometime after 1:30! #
13:01 @ashleynwilliams, oh wait, did you say sonic happy hour? i mean, sure, i wouldnt mind... :) #
13:02 @ashleynwilliams, sweet! kids just woke up! #

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Daily Tweets

2009-06-20T21:55:00.001-07:00

12:39 @kissingerdv- oh no, does that mean you're still staining? #
12:52 @kissingerdv, sorry buddy! that stinks! way to be the hero though :) #
13:31 pool party in a couple hours. feel free to join (right now there's a 6-year-old pool party occuring :). #

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Daily Tweets

2009-06-19T21:55:00.001-07:00

08:07 @hundiejo- where are you? i'm at panera on nifong! #
08:19 oh, I guess I don't know which one she works at :) i'm excited to hear of any new developments throughout the day. praying today is the day! #
08:44 i've lost my planner. if anyone sees it at their house, please let me know :). #
09:06 @ asante, you are getting good at this, little buddy! we're gonna have to change treats to something smaller... #
09:39 "Jesus is the smartest man who ever lived?" what do you think, yes or no? #
11:27 @lessecho, yeah, that's my inclination as well. #
11:30 @hundiejo, but why? what evidence do we have? #

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Community and Service- do we REALLY want them?

2009-06-19T07:55:00.001-07:00

I've been reading a bunch of stuff about this next generation (both the one above and below me, since I'm kinda on the edge of both of them), and I'm beginning to doubt some of the research.

Two things that characterize this generation is wanting true community (honesty, vulnerability, family-like closeness) and opportunities to make a difference/change the world.

At the surface, yes, we do want those things. But, I think that these desires are being hijacked by our selfishness. We want true community, but only if it's OTHER people being authentic, honest and vulnerable. Only if we want OTHER people to be intentional about community. Very often will we be the first one to put our necks out. We want opportunities to make a difference, that's true too. But observations I've made from my own experience and listening to some others' experiences in different parts of the country: 1.) we tend to not like to serve when push comes to shove, especially when it's at an inconvenient time, it's not fun or glamorous, and it's not something we particularly enjoy doing. 2.) we tend to get excited about something, talk alot about it, and then not do it, or just do it once and then go on to the next new thing.

So, do we just WANT these things- are they values that we want to value, or are these values that are really characteristic of our actions?

Jesus' words have been ringing in my ears lately- I've not come to be served but to serve... what implications does that have on my family's life (family as in biological and community)? Conviction has come, and I must repent.

What do you think? Do we really want these things? Or do we just like the idea of them?

Daily Tweets

2009-06-18T21:55:00.001-07:00

12:54 @bensonhines, looking forward to hearing more about it! #

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Daily Tweets

2009-06-17T21:55:00.001-07:00

13:27 @hundiejo... lol, did you magically get that burst of energy too? if not, sorry about that... hehe. hopefully we meet reed sooooon! #

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Daily Tweets

2009-06-16T21:55:00.001-07:00

07:52 @hundiejo-- woot woot, have a happy birthday my friend! #
07:52 @reelizja @areese35 - happy anniversary! #
09:14 love it when asante "takes care" of aly #
12:08 @graceisunfair- aaahhh, that was me yesterday, even after i took a nap, lol. hope your day meets some coffee! #
13:08 @jakemalloy, why do schools block so much? #
13:09 @graceisunfair and @reelizja me too, i was thinking you guys had been married longer too. #
13:14 kids are waking up. #
14:07 playing legos #

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Torture

2009-06-16T10:00:00.000-07:00

Excerpt from Relevant Magazine's website:

Surprisingly there is no group more divided by the torture debate than the Church. The Pew Forum recently asked a select number of Americans of different religious backgrounds whether or not the use of torture can be justified. According to the survey, 44 percent of white evangelical Protestants said torture could sometimes be justified. Also, the survey shows that people who go to religious services weekly are more likely to support torture in certain cases, rather than those who hardly attend. If the Bible says, “Love your enemy,” why then would so many Christians support torture?

Missionary Aaron Taylor thinks it is closely related to the evangelical church’s overemphasis on man’s sinful nature. “Whether most evangelicals realize it or not,” he writes on Sojourners’ blog, “our underlying assumption is that those who are not born again are only capable of evil. Even if we notice good behavior in nonbelievers, our understanding of the Christian faith demands that we attribute it to selfish motives.” While Taylor does not deny that man is sinful by nature, he also believes that focusing too much on it does more harm than good. “When we take total depravity to mean that every nonbeliever at all times is only capable of sinning,” he writes, “we forget that even fallen human beings are created in the image of God and are therefore capable of reason.”

This makes a lot of sense as to why many Christians support some form of torture. But it also makes me so frustrated. How in the world is torture ever okay? What about Jesus' life gives us permission to torture people by "walking as he walked." And on top of that, most of those torturing others are probably non-christians themselves. So they see the Church supporting them in this de-humanization of others? This is absurdity.

Voluntary Poverty

2009-06-16T07:54:00.001-07:00

This is one of gift options on the spiritual gifts test i just took:

Voluntary Poverty: "The special ability that God gives to certain members of the Body of Christ to renounce material comfort and luxury and adopt a personal lifestyle equivalent to those living at the poverty level in a given society in order to serve God more effectively."

This gift is a practical gift. Those with the spiritual gift of voluntary poverty will often choose to live among people who are considered poverty-stricken in a given area, and live at their level, although they have the means to live at a higher standard. Th primary motivation for this choice is to minister more effectively to the people through identification. Scriptures: Acts 2:44-45; 4:34-27; 1 Corinthians 13:1-3; 2 Corinthians 8:9.

Note: This gift is often associated with the gift of giving, however, notice that the motivation for this gift is for effective ministry through identification with a group of less-fortunate people, where those with the gift if giving are motivated by what their money can do towards God’s work.

I think this is interesting. If this is truly a spiritual gift, I think that this has interesting implications. "and live at their level..." not just living simply and having money in the bank for "back-up" and not just living in a certain place but having a lot of cool stuff, but living at the same level as those who don't have a lot in order to identify with the feelings and thoughts and needs of others. This is huge.