tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19063823.post4413775148631572168..comments2023-10-22T05:47:16.422-07:00Comments on Learning to Love: Do Men Feel the Identity Struggle Too?Tiffanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08018927292542012214noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19063823.post-67890606596353773132010-07-31T05:37:53.798-07:002010-07-31T05:37:53.798-07:00Jumping in late I know, sorry. I think Men definit...Jumping in late I know, sorry. I think Men definitely feel it as well, but I've learned, through reading and open conversations with my wife and other women, that I think the struggle and the implications of the identity struggle are different.<br /><br />Boy and girls both struggle with identity growing up and into adulthood. But in general, I think it's much more pervasive for women. It can be an almost constant conscience struggle (not necessarily for all women), where as I don't think it's as constant for men. <br /><br />I hate making generalizations, so please see the above not as an attempt to categorize as much as some of the perspective I've seen recently, with plenty of exceptions.<br /><br />And the only reason I say it is because I think it's important not to lose site of dealing with the issues women face and speaking out against them (objectification, etc). Rather then giving men any excuse that "we all struggle" and thus we don't have to be active in addressing gender injustices.Ariahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18434080710713783274noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19063823.post-20678745644585977052010-06-01T12:37:40.729-07:002010-06-01T12:37:40.729-07:00JR.,
Thanks for the comments; I agree that our soc...JR.,<br />Thanks for the comments; I agree that our society does have some ideas about gender roles, but I think it's MUCH more defined within the church than outside of the church. And I definitely have acknowledged that my experience is definitely not the experience of every woman, but I think that women need to make sure that they're not oppressing themselves, but are taking opportunities and helping one another instead of hurting one another. <br /><br />We can definitely be more encouraging in celebrating the advances that we see instead of always holding up the negatives and pretending that they are "what always happens" (of course, but not ignoring the negatives). <br /><br />Henry, thanks for the comments too! I definitely think that location has a signficant amount to say about what is male and what is female. I think that I'm going to have a huge culture shock when I get to Wilmore, despite going to a seminary that has come a long way in the gender-identity struggle. I have a feeling that with each generation, a lot of advancements are going to be made. It's exciting that we have little ones that we can be influencing in what is male and what is female!<br /><br />Thanks again for the comment; I appreciate your input.Tiffanyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08018927292542012214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19063823.post-17933072476728147652010-06-01T10:56:03.701-07:002010-06-01T10:56:03.701-07:00I agree with Henry - as much as we like to make it...I agree with Henry - as much as we like to make it about individual choice, our society as a whole does have surprisingly (IMO) well-defined gender roles.<br /><br />We can resist them. We can rage against them or embrace them. But whatever we do, we're interacting with them.<br /><br />That's why I think your individual experience is interesting and important, but not definitive. I'm glad that women like you are growing up and living without feeling oppressed, but I think it's also where you choose to live.<br /><br />For instance, if you tried to teach a Sunday School class for adults in some churches, you would not be allowed because you're a woman (as I know you well know).<br /><br />So, I guess I want to say I'm glad the discourse is changing, but I think we still have a long way to go.<br /><br />I've really enjoyed your thoughts on the book. I'm glad you picked it up!jr. forasteroshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10786723502306116951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19063823.post-74324036152579117842010-06-01T09:28:19.793-07:002010-06-01T09:28:19.793-07:00I struggle with it daily. My larger culture (cont...I struggle with it daily. My larger culture (contemporary Western American male living in the Midwest) lays out acceptable ways to be masculine and my subculture (moderate/conservative Western evangelical Christianity in Missouri) gives another set (though they largely overlap).<br /><br />If I am to deviate from the above bounded descriptions of masculinity, I'm seen as effeminate or something worse. If I don't desire competition, solving problems through violence and physical strength, if I don't pee standing up (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNCoevpt5TE) then I am not a man (as my cultures have defined man-ness).<br /><br />It's connected to knowing those skills that Jake mentioned and it goes deeper. You can her the whispers of the rhetoric of my subculture (Driscoll, anyone?) and from the mainstream culture as well. And with whispers comes doubt about identity.<br /><br />How can I be a man in my culture and subculture if what I find to be masculine mores are anti-Christian?<br /><br />And so I am plagued with doubts about identity in relation to the cultures in which I am situated.Henryhttp://http;//pomoxian.comnoreply@blogger.com